Club Dread (2004)

Lars: I guess now they'll kick me out of the Pacifists Club.
Jenny: Or just ask you nicely to leave.

Juan: You are the fucking FUN police.

Sam, The Fun Police: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Coconut Pete's Pleasure Island. You have the right to fun. If you choose not to have fun, fun will be provided for you.

Island Guest: After hearing the Machete Phil story: Wait wait... your telling me that there's some totally deranged dickless dude running around out there?

Penelope: Juan, you're bleeding.
Juan: You should see the other hombre.

Dirk: Yeah I heard you. Something about "cocks and quarters." Yeah, we have that here in the states only we call it "hide the sausage."

Fiona: Play Margaritaville.

Sam: The boat may be hidden under some sticks... or branches.

Lars: What happened to the Jacuzzi?

Penelope: I go to Oral Roberts.
Juan Castillo: Oral Roberts? Is that like Anal Johnson? Because I have done that a few times. Or was it Dirty Sanchez? Yes. It was that.

Jenny: Aren't you bringing any weapons?
Lars Bronkhorst: I have all the weapons I need.
Putman Livingston: Piss on that! I'm bringing a ma-she-tay.

Juan: When you jump squeeze your ass cheeks together or water will fly up your butthole and pulverize your intestines.

Sam: Nobody ever suspects the fun police.

Putman: David, you hated him for killing your parents. You see, what none of us did know, what none of us could know, was that David's parents were trampled to death at a Coconut Pete concert.
Jenny: What the hell's wrong with you Putman? Everyone knows Dave's parents got killed at a Pete show.
Juan: Way to bring up on a sore subject.

Dave: Hey, I think something's wrong with the lights.

Kellie: I just heard something.
Rolo: Was it a strange sucking sound?

Dirk: No, I'm not an asshole. I'm just young, dumb and full - What the fuck? Something just brushed up against my leg.
Jenny: Oh, my God! What is it?
Dirk: No. There's seriously something down here. Oh, no, wait! It's just my gigantic cock.

Coconut Pete: If it isn't to much to ask, have sex with the guests. Cause some of em aren't bad lookin.

Rolo: Hey! What about my nipples?

Juan: Ok. Juan Castillo... went to jail... for having sex with a goat. Ok? It that what you wanted to hear? We lived on a farm! And I got lonely! We were just a couple of crazy kids.