Nick Alexander: Did anyone ever tell you that you have beautiful legs?
Bartender: Oh, Nick! You can't see them from here.
Nick Alexander: No, but I do have a good imagination. Well, actually I'm just trying to be nice.
Remy McSwain: If I can't have you, can I have my gator?
Number 5: Hey, laser lips! Your momma was a snow-blower.
Sheriff Loomis: You listen to me, you son-of-a-bitch! There's a kid out there usin' his car to kill people, not that it's such a big deal since it seems to be your gang he's got it in for... so, if you guys try to take the law into your own hands, and that killer turns up dead, I'm gonna see you all sniffin' cyanide in the Arizona gas chamber.
Casey: They send me out last. You get me, you've hit bottom. I'm the last cookie in the jar.
Detective Cameron: Corpses that have been dead for twenty-seven years do not get up and go for a walk by themselves.
Phil: Get out of there! Duck!
Howard: And proud of it.
Frances: Blind Dog and Lightning Boy? Who the hell are you guys supposed to be?
Eugene Martone: We're bluesmen.
Willie Brown: I'm the bluesman, he's from Long Island.
Gunnery Seargant Thomas Highway: The United States Marines is lookin' for a few good men - and you ain't it.
Connor MacLeod: I apologize for calling your wife a bloated warthog, and I bid you good day.
Knotcher: Good morning, boys and girls, I have an announcement. One of special interest to you military personnel. Little Dougie Masters has regretfully been denied admission to the Air Force Academy. Too bad. [Laughs] He would have looked cute in his little uniform and haircut, marching around with with the other fairies. [Notices a highly irate Doug standing outside the microphone room] What's the matter, flybaby?
Terry: This is great. I'm down on the docks at 1:30 in the morning. I might as well pin a hundred dollar bill to my ass and scream "Victim here! Victim here!"
Brett: If you don't get your hand off my leg, you're going to be wiping your ass with a hook next time you take a dump.
Camp Loman: I never heard no talk like that when I was a boy.
Allie Fox: Everything we need is here. Right here. We can live simply: gardening, beach combing. I'm a changed man, mother. No more chemicals or poisons. If what you want isn't washed up on this beach, you probably don't need it.
Duckie: May I admire you again today?
Marvel: Fuck you.
Molly McGrath: Fuck you what?
Marvel: Fuck you... Coach McGrath.
Molly McGrath: Better.
Tommy: I went to go cremate Jason but I fucked up.
Deputy Rick: You got that right.
Nancy: Boring, Sidney, Boring.
Fidget: I'm going! I'm going! I'm going.