Walter: What has Max got that I haven't got?
Anna: Walls.
Maggie Cavanaugh: Just remember, when you pull the trigger, the bullets come out going very, very fast. So make sure to keep the weapon pointing away from you. Now that's about it. You are now armed... guards. God help us all.
Sandy: I don't know if you're a detective or a pervert.
Jeffrey: Well, that's for me to know and you to find out.
Reverend Aaron Gilstom: Demonic beasts. Whatever happened to the good old simple love song?"I love you." That's what good words use. Nowadays they have to write some sickness. It's just absoultely sick and bizarre, and I'm going to do my upmost best to try and stop it now."
Talk show host: Anything you'd like to add in conclusion?
Reverend Aaron Gilstom: These evil people have just got to be stopped.
General George S. Patton Jr.: There's never been a better chance of producing a war in Europe than we have right now... WIth the German troops I'm holding and my own men, I can push the Russians all the way back to Moscow.
Marjorie: No talking to the animal.
Carol: You get that tape of Sam Stone finishing off his wife, and that man will give us anything we want for the rest of his life.
Earl Mott: Yeah! Then we're off to Haiti.
Carol: Not Haiti, Tahiti.
Earl Mott: Oh... I knew that.
Cesar Soubeyran: A farmer may grow a hump, but a hunchback rarely becomes a farmer.
Martin McNamara: Confucius say: when fighting truckers, nail the suckers.
Carol: We'll take my car. It starts every time.
Carol Ann: They're back.
Jill: You got a name?
Brad Whitewood Jr.: Brad?
Jill: You don't sound so sure.
Carlos Delgado: To tell you the gods honest truth, I used to use a table. But it broke. From a fat person. Weighed 300lbs at least. Table just collapsed. Killed my cat. Poor bastard.
Jack Casey: Sometimes things don't happen the way you planned, sometimes you could end up lower than you started.
William of Baskerville: She is already burnt flesh, Adso. Bernardo Gui has spoken: she is a witch.
Adso of Melk: But that's not true, and you know it.
William of Baskerville: I know. I also know that anyone who disputes the verdict of an Inquisitor is guilty of heresy.
Laura J. Kelly: Don't lose him.
Tom Logan: I'm not going to lose him. Where is he?
High Priest: Who gave you the courage to be killed here?
Asian Hawk: I obey my god's every command. He looks after all my needs. I always say yes to him. Never no.
High Priest: Who is your god? What is your religion?
Asian Hawk: I believe in a powerful religion. The name of my god is... money.
High Priest: Prepare to be sacrified to your money god.
Mr. Sakamoto: Everything is all right here?
Kazihiro: Yes. Fine. Great. Have a good trip back.
Mr. Sakamoto: I will visit the factory tomorrow.
Kazihiro: Uh, tomorrow not good day.
Mr. Sakamoto: Why?
Kazihiro: Factory is locked and we can't find key.
Saito: Bullshit-o.
Buford 'Bubba' Brownlee: Were we in the same nightmare? I mean, didn't we all just nearly get eaten by an... an It?