Vic: You screwed up, you're sushi baby.
AJ: Snow! I'm AJ. Come on, all this over three lousy teeth?
Allison: Look, no fangs! Come on.
Duncan: You know, I mostly get your basic dorks around here. They seem to gravitate towards me... I don't know why.
Vic: Don't forget our single man's special, all you can drink for a dollar. Come along, you drink yourselves into another world.
Allison: I'm Amaretto, not really, and I will be your waitress for this evening guys. So what can I get for you?
Duncan: I would like a slow, comfortable, screw.
AJ: This isn't a frat house, it's a halfway house for morons.
AJ: I love you, Keith. But all I can see right now is food... And I'm starving! You carry my next meal around with you in your veins.
Keith: Testy! You wanna know why I'm testy? I'll tell you why I'm testy. Today I was nearly hung, I got into a fight with a psychotic albino, I met a human pin cushion in the bathroom, I ate a cockroach, my best friend disappears and then I'm nearly assassinated by a runaway elevator! I've HAD A BAD DAY.
Keith: This has been one wacky night.
Keith: All this for a fucking fraternity.
Duncan: Say, babe, what time do you get off?
Waitress: 2.30.
Duncan: Can I watch?
