Albert Brooks

Quotes from Albert Brooks movies and TV shows - page 3 of 3

Albert Brooks: Write down that Polish jokes work everywhere.

More Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World quotes

David Howard: Shut up Brad! Your song stunk, I hate your suit and I could hurt you.

David Howard: I'm insane and responsible. This is a potent combination.

David Howard: That's why I married her.
Skippy: That's why I hired her.

David Howard: I've seen the future! And it's a bald-headed man from New York.

David Howard: Weren't you scared? What were you talking about?
Linda Howard: Oh, God. I - He was telling me his whole life story. He was divorced. He got kicked out of the Army. He couldn't keep the job. Do you know he escaped from prison?
David Howard: What did he do?
Linda Howard: Well, to hear him tell it, he says those two guys were dead when he got there.
David Howard: Oh, God.

David Howard: Why didn't you tell me when we got married that you were this horrible gambling addict? It's like when you have a venereal disease - you tell somebody.
Linda Howard: I've only gambled twice in my life. This was the second time.

David Howard: He'll buy that boat from that stupid boat catalog he's been making me look at for the last two months, and he will crash that boat off Catalina Island, and he will drown and die and seals will eat him.

David Howard: As the boldest experiment in advertising history, you give us our money back.
Desert Inn Casino Manager: I beg your pardon?

More Lost in America quotes

John Henderson: We're in the 90s, mother. It's fancy jam time.

John Henderson: Stop. No more food. It's like fantasia.

John Henderson: You're running a food museum here.

Beatrice Henderson: I love you.
John Henderson: I know you think you do, Mother.

John Henderson: I know why she hates me! I know why she hates me! I know why she hates me.

More Mother quotes

Jennifer Tilly: Isn't Josh a doll?
Steven Phillips: Oh, yes, he's a real doll. He's like a regular little Chucky.

Sarah: I feel like you're losing your edge.
Steven Phillips: Jesus! I am hearing this from everybody.
Sarah: That's because it's true.

More The Muse quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.