Jim Rockford: I hope you'll accept my sincerest apologies, agent Stoner. Don't you worry, my insurance company is gonna cover all this. Here, let me see that. Oh, just a scratch! You're gonna be fine!
Harry Stoner: You are right on the tender age of getting thrown on Leavenworth. You should do yourself a big favor and think about what you say to me before you say it. Cos I am a man with absolutely no sense of humor. Smart mouths turn me off, and I am beginning to suspect YOU have a smart mouth.
Jim Rockford: You're right, you're right, I do. But I am working on changing that.
Harry Stoner: Good. Now where's my gun?
Jim Rockford: Right over there. Here, let me get it for you. I know right where I threw it. (00:24:30)
Tom Mix: I fell in love with a beautiful woman who believed a man was not a complete lover unless he knew how to tango.
Cheryl King, Owner of Candy Store: She didn't give you much choice.
Tom Mix: I took lessons for years.
Wyatt Earp: And what was this young lady's vocation?
Tom Mix: She was a tango instructor.
Latigo: I don't like anything west of Riverside Drive.
Patience: Where's that?
Latigo: New York City.
Patience: On the Hudson River?
Latigo: Yeah, born and raised there.
Patience: Tell me about it.
Latigo: Tell you what about it?
Latigo: Well let's see, they, they don't carry guns. And they got a cop on every street corner to keep people from shootin' one another.
Latigo: Like I said: a man should spread happiness as he walks through life.
Jug: I think we've been spreadin' it a little thick.
Latigo: This your office?
Doc Schultz: I doctor pack mules, too. If you got a pain in the ass, you come see Doc Schultz.
Latigo: Patience, there are some things a man just can't ride around... but then again, maybe he can.
Commander Paul Stevenson: Oh, uh, one more thing, Mr. Braden, you don't get captured.
Lt. J.g. Kenneth M. Braden: Mm-hmm. I wouldn't think of it, sir.
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