My Fellow Americans
Movie Quote Quiz

Russell Kramer: When this is over, promise me we'll come back and look for my balls.

Russell Kramer: Well, as usual, the Republican comes up with a plan while the Democrat just aimlessly wanders in the woods.

Matt Douglas: A cookbook. He wrote a cookbook. How dare he?
Joanna: Well, you know, when he was President, he did cook for his guests all the time.
Matt Douglas: That's not the point. Did George Washington write a book called "Your Wooden Teeth and You?" Did William Howard Taft write "Thirty Days To A Slimmer Ass?" It's shameful, just shameful.

Russell Kramer: When it comes time for a rest, there's no place like Cleveland.

Matt Douglas: Russell, I have just one thing to ask... when you dance with a panda, who leads?

Matt Douglas: Just get out of the chopper.
Russell Kramer: What?
Matt Douglas: Get out of the chopper.
Russell Kramer: The crops?
Matt Douglas: GET OUT.

Russell Kramer: Oh, yeah, I'm about to share my coffee with the Washington Love Machine. No dice. You could spit in a Petri dish and start a whole new civilization.

Matt Douglas: Well, I don't think you had anything to do with Charlie's death, but I'm pretty sure you're involved in this mess somehow.
Russell Kramer: I'm involved? But, what about you? You were the one sittin' in the car next to a dead man.
Matt Douglas: Well, now you know. I enjoy spending time with dead men. You don't believe me? Go ahead and die. It'll perk me right up.

Greg: Sir, uh, before we go in, Chet and I would really like to know how you got out of that bathroom stall without us seeing.
Matt Douglas: Why don't you guys just relax? Take a night off. Go rent "In The Line of Fire" again.

Russell Kramer: Did you ever have one of her pizzas?
Matt Douglas: Oh.
Russell Kramer: It was like a wet dream with a crust.
Matt Douglas: A wet dream?
Russell Kramer: Huh?
Matt Douglas: I don't think I need to hear Russell P. Kramer saying the words "wet dream." I'll wake up screaming every night 'til I die.

Russell Kramer: There was only one assassination attempt on me. You had three.
Matt Douglas: Two. The woman in Phoenix doesn't count. She only had a starter pistol.

Genny: Wel... uh, I'm sorry about that, sir. We're Republican.
Matt Douglas: Well, at least you can admit it. That's the first step towards recovery.

Tanner: Hello, sirs. No need for concern. It's only me... the twisted psycho.

Margaret Kramer: Don't do that with the liquor, Russ. It's so... George Bush.

Matt Douglas: I hate these funerals. It's just awful when another good Democrat passes on.
Aide: I believe the deceased was a Republican, sir.
Matt Douglas: Oh, well, then it might not be so bad.

Margaret Kramer: Don't say "freaking", Russ. If you have to use the "F" word, go for the gold.

Wayne: I'm not ashamed to say it, I've slept with both those guys.

Continuity mistake: When the Presidents jump off the moving train, James Garner pushes Jack Lemmon off first, waits several seconds, then jumps himself. Given the speed and direction the train was going, Garner should have landed quite a ways away, to the left of Lemmon. But he ends up only a short distance away, to the right of Lemmon (based on the direction they were facing when they jumped.)

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