Matt Douglas: A cookbook. He wrote a cookbook. How dare he?
Joanna: Well, you know, when he was President, he did cook for his guests all the time.
Matt Douglas: That's not the point. Did George Washington write a book called "Your Wooden Teeth and You?" Did William Howard Taft write "Thirty Days To A Slimmer Ass?" It's shameful, just shameful.
Matt Douglas: Well, I don't think you had anything to do with Charlie's death, but I'm pretty sure you're involved in this mess somehow.
Russell Kramer: I'm involved? But, what about you? You were the one sittin' in the car next to a dead man.
Matt Douglas: Well, now you know. I enjoy spending time with dead men. You don't believe me? Go ahead and die. It'll perk me right up.
Russell Kramer: Did you ever have one of her pizzas?
Matt Douglas: Oh.
Russell Kramer: It was like a wet dream with a crust.
Matt Douglas: A wet dream?
Russell Kramer: Huh?
Matt Douglas: I don't think I need to hear Russell P. Kramer saying the words "wet dream." I'll wake up screaming every night 'til I die.