Doc Schultz: Patience, you got to stop shooting at people. You know something? If you wasn't such a terrible shot, there wouldn't be a young man alive in all of Purgatory. I heard you shot at Elmer Price in the lobby of the hotel yesterday evening.
Patience: Well, he asked me to marry him.
Doc Schultz: You think that's reason enough to shoot at a man?
Latigo: This your office?
Doc Schultz: I doctor pack mules, too. If you got a pain in the ass, you come see Doc Schultz.
Latigo: Patience, there are some things a man just can't ride around... but then again, maybe he can.
Patience: Now I have sworn me a vow that I am going back east to Miss Hunter's College on the Hudson River New York for young ladies of good family and ain't nothing gonna stop me.
Latigo: I don't like anything west of Riverside Drive.
Patience: Where's that?
Latigo: New York City.
Patience: On the Hudson River?
Latigo: Yeah, born and raised there.
Patience: Tell me about it.
Latigo: Tell you what about it?
Latigo: Well let's see, they, they don't carry guns. And they got a cop on every street corner to keep people from shootin' one another.
Latigo: Like I said: a man should spread happiness as he walks through life.
Jug: I think we've been spreadin' it a little thick.