Officer Bernard: This is gonna end bad for you.
Bryan Mills: Don't be such a pessimist. (00:44:35)
Chen Lien: I'm sorry for what happened to you.
Nicholas Hathaway: Well, don't be. I'm not fishing for sympathy, here. I did the crime, I'm doing the time. Time isn't doing me.
Chen Lien: What's that mean?
Nicholas Hathaway: I do my own time, not the institution's. See, to hold on to who you are in there, you dedicate yourself to your program. You work out on your body and your mind.
Claire Peterson: Go fuck yourself.
Noah Sandborn: I'd rather fuck you.
Evelyn Greenslade: I don't know why I tell you anything.
Muriel Donnelly: Because I'm older and wiser.
Evelyn Greenslade: Nineteen days older.
Muriel Donnelly: That's the entire lifespan of a wasp.
Cinderella: It was my mother's old dress.
Lady Tremaine: It would be an insult to take you to the palace dressed in these old rags.
Bianca Piper: In the end, it isn't about popularity or even getting the guy. It's about understanding that no matter what label is thrown your way, only you can define yourself.
Mike Conlon: They should have locked you up a long time ago. Made you pay for the things you did.
Jimmy Conlon: Just because I'm not behind bars doesn't mean I'm not paying for what I did, Michael.
Maria Altmann: If I'm going back, I might as well do it in style.
Maya Blart: Look, Dad, you're going to have to get use to the idea that I'm a big girl now.
Paul Blart: Ok, first of all, we're all big. We're Blarts. Wide hips, thick ankles, and a low center of gravity. That's how the good Lord made us. That's why we're no good at running hurdles. Never will be.
Cyrus Kinnick: Guess you haven't liked Vegas much, huh?
Nick Wild: You're not supposed to like Vegas. It's just this creeping virus that people catch sometimes.
Max: You know, hope is a mistake. If you can't fix what's broken, you'll go insane.
Hugo: Have you ever wondered what would happen, if all the geniuses, the artists, the scientists, the smartest, most creative people in the world decided to actually change it? Where, where could they even do such a thing? They'd need a place free from politics and bureaucracy, distractions, greed - a secret place where they could build whatever they were crazy enough to imagine.
Carson Welch: The future isn't just something that happens. It's a brutal force with a great sense of humor that will steamroll you if you're not watching.
Elise Rainier: Loving someone is just delayed pain, isn't it?
Comic: So first, we need a historical event. Who's got an event?
Ted: 9/11!
Comic: Oh oh, okay. Okay, maybe something else. Uh, let's start with a person.
John: Robin Williams!
Comic: Okay, all right. For real, guys, for real. Who's got a person?
Ted: Robin Williams on 9/11!
Comic: Alright, we've heard from these guys, uh, let's maybe give somebody else over here a chance. How about a location? Let's go with a location.
Ted: The offices of Charlie Hebdo!
Comic: Okay seriously, sir, I just need a location.
John: Ferguson, Missouri!
Ted: Germanwings cockpit!
Comic: Okay, I heard Starbucks!
Ted: No you didn't!
John: Nobody said Starbucks.
Comic: Alright, Starbucks! Okay now, who's in the Starbucks?
Ted: Bill Cosby.
Scarlett Overkill: Do you know who this is?
Kevin the Minion: Uh... La cucaracha?
Scarlett Overkill: This is Queen Elizabeth! Ruler of England! And I really, really, really want her crown.
Mrs. Munro: Your dad hated what he did for a living. Mechanic in a garage, like his dad before him. When he got called up, he said to me, "My love, I'll not spend this war "underneath the oil pan of some toff's jeep. "I'm gonna put in for the RAF." So he did. He trained. Scored high marks, got assigned to a Bristol Blenheim, Mark IV. Blown out of the sky. First time up. All his mates who worked the motor pool came home without a scratch.
Margo: It's a shame, don't you think? All the strings inside him broke.
Napoleon Solo: He's trying. To stop. The car.
Gaby Teller: We're struggling here. Why don't you take a shot at him?
Napoleon Solo: Somehow, it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do.