Dr. Hexler: Tell me about Lili... Where did she come from?
Einar Wegener: Inside of me.
Rufus: Sorry, you can't park here.
Miss Shepherd: No, I've had guidance. This is where it should go.
Rufus: Guidance? Who from?
Miss Shepherd: The Virgin Mary. I spoke to her yesterday. She was outside the post office.
Myrtle 'Tilly' Dunnage: Take your clothes off.
Molly Dunnage: A murderer... and a lesbian.
Joy: Don't ever think that the world owes you anything, because it doesn't. The world doesn't owe you a thing.
Pappas: I don't think you noticed or not but what went down was a crime.
Cheung Wing-sing: Why'd God make women pretty but dumb?
Cheung Wing-sing: They're pretty, so men will like them.
Cheung Wing-sing: They're dumb, so they will like men.
David Lipsky: He wants more than he has. I want precisely what he already has.
James: Just be glad you don't have what Samantha had got.
Riley: Why, what'd she have?
James: Well, you know, they're not really telling me much but my buddy over at the coroner's office said it's some kind of necrotic STD - it's some really gnarly shit.
Riley: Shit?
Riley: Yeah... well you didn't fuck her did you?
James: Neh... What? No.
Michael Stone: Sometimes there's no lesson. That's a lesson in itself.
Parthian Queen: Power is a conceit which reveals our limitations.
David: Each one of us is on a journey and we feel it's important to be on this journey with the people you love.
Andrew McDonnell: Lady, that's not yours to ruin.
Burt Gummer: That's right. Fly right into my crosshairs, you fire-farting son of a bitch.
Harry Hawkes: Honesty is the greatest fidelity.
Paul De Smedt: Yeah, well, the world is not ready for your honesty.
Elliott the Groom: Will you marry me?
The Bride: Yes.
Bill Murray: By the power invested in me by the Writers Guild of America, the Screen Actors Guild and the Directors Guild... I'm also on the wait list to the Teamsters Union... I now pronounce you two officially reengaged.
Bella: Oh please, like this cabin in the woods shit really happens.