Jeff Bingham: Don't play dumb with me. It's a game you can't win.
Nurse Amy: She's your wife's landlord. That would be your present wife, number four, isn't it? And she wants all your belongings out of the house by to-night.
Michael: And did she say why?
Nurse Amy: Nooo, but I'm sure we'll be reading about it in tomorrow morning's newspaper.
Dylan Hunt: It's a little known law of thermodynamics: The Conservation of Optimism: There's only so much to go around.
Mama Payne: Yo' applehead stole my boy.
Rev. Love: If I was still living that foul life, I'll get Franklins, but I'm not.
Paul: Just like that: bing, bang, boom?
Jamie: At this point, I'd settle for the boom.
Paul: You don't want the bing and the bang?
Jamie: I did when we started.
Paul: And now?
Jamie: I'm over it.
Paul: You're a very complex woman.
Jamie: You don't want the boom?
Paul: 'Course I want the boom. Guys always want the boom. We only made up the whole bing and the bang just to get to boom.
Pizzazz: Why do you always think the worst of me?
Stormer: Don't answer that, Jem.
Ashley Davies: I love... these brownies.
No, This Is Not Based Entirely on Julie's Life - S2-E1
[Lisa walks into Dave's office].
Lisa: Have you ever taken naked pictures of yourself?
Dave: Mom, I am going to have to call you back.
Olive Snook: Yesterday, a farrier named Lucas Shoemaker was found dead. Trampled.
Emerson Cod: Why should I care about a dude that sells fur coats?
Olive Snook: Not a furrier, a farrier. Heir.
Emerson Cod: Fair-rier?
Olive Snook: It's a blacksmith. Puts shoes on horses.
Emerson Cod: Don't try to act like that's a word everybody knows.
Wade Swoboda: I love you like a Sister.
Grace Kelly: Oh, Wade. I'm Southern. Please don't tell me you love me like a sister.
Major Briggs: Achievement is its own reward, pride obscures it.
Alice: We need like, rules of un-attraction.
Kim: Fantasizing during my first time? I'm sure they don't tell you to do that in Cosmo-Girl.
Dr. Naomi Bennett: I wish I was a little bit more like you.
Dr. Addison Montgomery: What an adulterous bitch who forgot to have kids?
Capt. Ronald Merrick: Are you one of those people who think that if you teach an Indian the rules of cricket he'll become an English gentleman?
Guy Perron: Hardly sir. I know quite a few English gentlemen who play cricket brilliantly but are absolute shits.
Angela: Huge events take place on this earth every day. Earthquakes, hurricanes - even glaciers move. So why couldn't he just look at me?
Little John: Taxes we do not like.
Comtessa Raffaella Pecci Scialoia: I'm so scared of death... It's always so... unexpected.
Kate Fox: Sometimes confronting the past is the only way to move on.