Brenner: You killed her.
Lt. Gen. Joseph Campbell: What did you say?
Brenner: Seven years ago in that hospital room when you told her to just forget about it, you killed her.
Lt. Gen. Joseph Campbell: Kent killed her.
Brenner: No. Kent just put her out of her misery.
Officer David Caporizo: Oh, and did this killer use his hook to cut all your hair off?
Helen: No, he used scissors, asshole.
Joe Dirt: So, you're gonna tell me, that you don't have no black cats, no Roman candles, or screamin' mimis?
Kicking Wing: No.
Joe Dirt: Oh come on man. You don't got no lady fingers, buzz bottles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zip-a-dee-do-dahs, crap flappers?
Kicking Wing: No, I don't.
Joe Dirt: You're gonna stand there, owning a firework stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honker lighters, huskers dus, husker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy dazers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whisking kitty chaser?
Samantha: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Hennessey: I hope not, coz I'm thinking about how much my balls hurt.
Allison: I should have my head examined again.
Leonard Shelby: I have to believe in a world outside my own mind. I have to believe that my actions still have meaning, even if I can't remember them. I have to believe that when my eyes are closed, the world's still there. Do I believe the world's still there? Is it still out there?. Yeah. We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are. I'm no different.
Nancy Thompson: I grab the guy in my dream. You see me struggling so you wake me up. We both come out, you whack the fucker and we got him.
Glen Lantz: Are you crazy? Hit him with what?
Nancy Thompson: You're the jock. You have a baseball bat or something.
Louis Creed: My father used to have a saying, Jud. God sees the truth... But waits.
Dr. Zaius: Don't go looking for it, Taylor. You may not like what you find.
Carl: Forget it. It's a toy company.
Martin Bishop: Toy company my ass. That's laser fencing. There's high voltage around the perimeter. The whole building says go away.
Captain James T. Kirk: Spock, you want to know something? Everybody's human.
Captain Spock: I find that remark... Insulting.
Bernadette 'Bernie' Walsh: This is sick, Helen! This isn't one of your fairytales, a woman got killed here.
Superintendent: So this is the famous ring?
Ringo: I'm in fear of me life, you know.
Superintendent: And these are the famous Beatles?
John: So this is the famous Scotland Yard, eh?
Superintendent: And how long do you think you'll last?
John: Can't say fairer than that. The Great Train Robbery, eh? How's that going?
Katherine: It's not unusual for a child to create an imaginary friend.
Charlie Barret: I'm going to give you an opportunity: get out of this. Now. Before it gets so fucked up nobody could ever recover.
Chloe: It was the only way to help him stop.
Miranda: Stop what?
Chloe: Stop fucking me.
Elvis: Uh, Mr. President... You're on the floor.
JFK: No shit?
Stan: What a stupid conversation.