Dorothy: Anyway, Ma told me that once I started shaving I'd never be able to stop. I mean, she said I'd regret it for the rest of my life because my legs would have bristles.
Sophia: I was right! By the time you were sixteen I could grate cheese on your knees.
Rose: You know, I've been thinking.
Blanche: Oh, that would explain the beads of sweat.
Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, but I haven't had sex in fifteen years and its starting to get on my nerves.
Sophia: Blanche, a terrible thing has happened to you. When life does something like this, there are a couple of things you got to remember. You got your health, right?
Blanche: Yeah.
Sophia: You can still walk, can't you?
Blanche: That's true.
Sophia: Great, go get me a glass of water.
Dorothy: Ma, I don't snore.
Sophia: Please! I had to turn you away from the window so you wouldn't inhale the drapes.
Blanche: Why I couldn't... I'd feel like a... like a.
Dorothy: Like a backstabbing slut?
Blanche: ...no.
Blanche: I'll give you anything. I'll give you one of my sons.
Dorothy: Blanche.
Blanche: Dorothy, I've given this a lot of thought. I've had 4 kids, I've never had a Mercedes. So, which one do you want? Biff, Doug, Skippy? No, don't take Skippy, he's got asthma.
Dorothy: Ma, Rose isn't talking to me.
Sophia: Enjoy it while it lasts, now good night.
Rose: Now, I know no-one wants to hear any of my stories right now.
Dorothy: That's always a safe bet, Rose.
Rose: ...but you need to hear about my cousin Ingmar. He was different. He used to do bird imitations.
Blanche: Well, what's wrong with that?
Rose: Well, let's just say you wouldn't want to park your car under their oak tree.
Blanche: Dorothy you're a substitute, your job isn't actually to teach.
Dorothy: Then what is it?
Blanche: To keep the kids from burning the school down until the other teacher gets back.
Blanche: Can you believe it? After four long years, my baby girl is finally coming to see me. I'm so happy, I could cry.
Rose: But Blanche, you are crying.
Dorothy: Admit it, Rose, you worked for Allied Intelligence during World War II.
Rose: Huh?
Dorothy: Fine. Play it cagey.
Sophia: Look, you didn't ask me for my opinion, but I'm old, so I'm giving it anyway.
Blanche: I can't believe you said that! Oh if I weren't a lady I'd deck you.
Dorothy: You try and I'll have you on your back so fast you'll think you're out on a date.
Dorothy: Oh c'mon, Blanche. Age is just a state of mind.
Blanche: Tell that to my thighs.
Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.
Dorothy: Rose... Get professional help.
Sophia: Beat it, you 50-year-old mattress.
Blanche: Why, you little.
Dorothy: Rose, I know this is a long shot, but did you take much acid during the sixties?
Rose: You... you... you rude person.
Dorothy: Go easy on him, Rose.
Sophia: Alright everyone get ready for temple.
Dorothy: But Ma, it's Tuesday and we're Catholic.
Sophia: In that case, bacon and eggs?
Chosen answer: Yes, you are correct, as stated, In one episode Blanche said he had been in a coma for days, in the episode where she's in her dream, she said "The day you died ... The police told me you had been in an accident." Thus the original answers theory is wrong. If he had been in the accident the day he died he could not have been in a coma for days.
Valentine
Yeah, in another episode she relates how a thoughtless state trooper phoned her and told her that her husband was dead with his mouth full.
Brian Katcher