Phaneron

Lisa's Sax - S9-E3

Homer: Name one successful person who ever lived without air conditioning.
Marge: Balzac.
Homer: No need for potty mouth just because you can't think of one.

Phaneron ★

Lard of the Dance - S10-E1

[Two bandits have stolen the grease Homer is collecting to sell]
Homer: Hey, hey, you're taking our grease!
Grease Bandit #1: It's our grease now. [Takes away Homer's shovel and hits him over the head with it.]
Homer: Daaah!
Grease Bandit #2: We run the grease racket in this town.
Homer: Hey, that's my shovel.
Grease Bandit #1: We also run the shovel racket.

Phaneron ★

Lisa's Date with Density - S8-E7

Mr. Largo: Miss Simpson, do you find something funny about the word "tromboner?"

Phaneron ★

Lisa the Vegetarian - S7-E5

Homer: Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, could you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausage in that syrup Homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not talking to me, and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room!
Lisa: Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
Homer: I don't need any serving suggestions from you, you barbecue-wrecking know-nothing know-it-all.

Phaneron ★

The Springfield Files - S8-E10

Leonard Nimoy: The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is no.

Phaneron ★

Marge vs. the Monorail - S4-E12

Leonard Nimoy: I'd say this vessel could do at least warp five.
Mayor Quimby: And let me say, may the Force be with you.
Leonard Nimoy: Do you even know who I am?
Mayor Quimby: I think I do. Weren't you one of the Little Rascals?

Phaneron ★

Simpson Tide - S9-E19

TV Announcer: Next on Exploitation Theater: "Blacula." Followed by "Blackenstein" and "The Blunchblack of Blotre Blame."
Homer: Whoo, funky.

Phaneron ★

Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore - S15-E12

Groundskeeper Willie: Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots. Or Welshmen and Scots. Or Japanese and Scots. Or Scots and other Scots. Damn Scots, they ruined Scotland!
Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.
Groundskeeper Willie: You just made an enemy for life.

Phaneron ★

Treehouse of Horror XIII - S14-E1

Zombie Billy the Kid: Now I'd like you to meet the Hole in the Ground gang: Frank and Jesse James. The Sundance Kid.
Comic Book Guy: What happened to Butch Cassidy?
Zombie Sundance Kid: "What happened to Butch Cassidy?" We're not joined at the hip, you know.
Zombie Billy the Kid: And the most evil German of all time: Kaiser Wilhelm.
[Everyone is confused]
Zombie Frank James: He ain't a cowboy!
Zombie Kaiser Wilhelm: Sure I am. Yippee. Whippee. Whippee.
Zombie Frank James: Okay, he's in.

Phaneron ★

My Big Fat Geek Wedding - S15-E17

Skinner: I'm starting to get cold feet. Please don't tell anyone.
Homer: Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. Marge, guess what? Skinner wants to bail on his wedding.
Skinner: Homer, you're still talking to me.
Homer: Oh man is this awkward.

Phaneron ★

Treehouse of Horror XIII - S14-E1

Zombie Billy the Kid: [to Homer] Play us some piani. [Homer begins playing "Fur Elise" and Billy the Kid fires his guns in response] That's piano, I said piani! [Homer begins playing some honky tonk].

Phaneron ★

Fifteen Minutes of Dick - S2-E23

Sally: I cannot believe we had to give up our table for Luke Skywalker. "Ooh look at me, I'm so important. My father's Darth Vader."
Dick: He is!?

Phaneron ★

The Wettest Stories Ever Told - S17-E18

Flanders: We Puritans have no place for drunkenness, or colorful clothes, or dreaming or poetry. So if you write a sonnet, keep it under your bonnet. Oh no! That was a poem. [Flogs himself].

Phaneron ★

Springfield Connection - S6-E23

[Hans Moleman is about to be executed and Homer has eaten his last meal.]
Reverend Lovejoy: Alright Hans, time to go.
Hans Moleman: But he ate my last meal.
Reverend Lovejoy: If that's the worst thing that happens to you today, consider yourself lucky.
Hans Moleman: Are you really allowed to execute people in a local jail?
Reverend Lovejoy: From this point on, no talking.

Phaneron ★

Saddlesore Galactica - S11-E13

Homer: That horse better win, or we're taking a trip to the glue factory. And he won't get to come.

Phaneron ★

When Aliens Camp - S3-E25

[Harry and Dick bump into each other while carrying a trout and a jar of peanut butter, respectively.]
Dick: You got your trout in my peanut butter!
Harry: Your peanut butter got on my trout!
[Both taste the combined flavors.]
Dick and Harry: Not bad.

Phaneron ★

Mary Loves Scoochie (2) - S6-E18

[Dick and Liam are engaged in a verbal joust to win Mary's affections.]
Dick: I will now dispatch my foe with an elegant haiku.
Liam: Five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables.
Dick: I know that. I'm so sick of you. You think you know ev'rything. Will you stop it, please?
Liam: Now, yes that is technically a haiku, but it's a rather pedestrian one.
Dick: No, that was an accidental haiku. I want another turn.

Phaneron ★

Fear and Loathing in Rutherford - S6-E2

[Dick is about to crash Strudwick's car into a deer.]
Strudwick: Look out for that deer!
Dick: Look out for what, honey?

Phaneron ★

When Aliens Camp - S3-E25

Harry: Alright, I'm off to the gyro stand.
Dick: Harry, it's "yeeros."
Harry: You know if one more person tells me how to pronounce it, I'm just gonna stop eating 'em.

Phaneron ★

Dick for Tat - S5-E2

Dick: Hello, Alissa. Tommy forgot his air freshener.
Alissa: What?
Dick: He was supposed to forget his bookbag, but he forgot to forget it.

Phaneron ★