Phaneron

Treehouse of Horror XIII - S14-E1

Zombie Billy the Kid: [to Homer] Play us some piani. [Homer begins playing "Fur Elise" and Billy the Kid fires his guns in response] That's piano, I said piani! [Homer begins playing some honky tonk].

Phaneron ★

Fifteen Minutes of Dick - S2-E23

Sally: I cannot believe we had to give up our table for Luke Skywalker. "Ooh look at me, I'm so important. My father's Darth Vader."
Dick: He is!?

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The Wettest Stories Ever Told - S17-E18

Flanders: We Puritans have no place for drunkenness, or colorful clothes, or dreaming or poetry. So if you write a sonnet, keep it under your bonnet. Oh no! That was a poem. [Flogs himself].

Phaneron ★

Springfield Connection - S6-E23

[Hans Moleman is about to be executed and Homer has eaten his last meal.]
Reverend Lovejoy: Alright Hans, time to go.
Hans Moleman: But he ate my last meal.
Reverend Lovejoy: If that's the worst thing that happens to you today, consider yourself lucky.
Hans Moleman: Are you really allowed to execute people in a local jail?
Reverend Lovejoy: From this point on, no talking.

Phaneron ★

Saddlesore Galactica - S11-E13

Homer: That horse better win, or we're taking a trip to the glue factory. And he won't get to come.

Phaneron ★

When Aliens Camp - S3-E25

[Harry and Dick bump into each other while carrying a trout and a jar of peanut butter, respectively.]
Dick: You got your trout in my peanut butter!
Harry: Your peanut butter got on my trout!
[Both taste the combined flavors.]
Dick and Harry: Not bad.

Phaneron ★

Mary Loves Scoochie (2) - S6-E18

[Dick and Liam are engaged in a verbal joust to win Mary's affections.]
Dick: I will now dispatch my foe with an elegant haiku.
Liam: Five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables.
Dick: I know that. I'm so sick of you. You think you know ev'rything. Will you stop it, please?
Liam: Now, yes that is technically a haiku, but it's a rather pedestrian one.
Dick: No, that was an accidental haiku. I want another turn.

Phaneron ★

Fear and Loathing in Rutherford - S6-E2

[Dick is about to crash Strudwick's car into a deer.]
Strudwick: Look out for that deer!
Dick: Look out for what, honey?

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When Aliens Camp - S3-E25

Harry: Alright, I'm off to the gyro stand.
Dick: Harry, it's "yeeros."
Harry: You know if one more person tells me how to pronounce it, I'm just gonna stop eating 'em.

Phaneron ★

Dick for Tat - S5-E2

Dick: Hello, Alissa. Tommy forgot his air freshener.
Alissa: What?
Dick: He was supposed to forget his bookbag, but he forgot to forget it.

Phaneron ★

Obsession - S3-E10

Apocalypse: I am the rocks of the eternal shore. Crash against me and be broken.

Phaneron ★

The Cure - S1-E9

Cable: [Grabs Warren Worthington from behind his bookcase.] Are you Adler?
Worthington: I'm Warren Worthington, [shoots his blaster through the bookcase] the third.
Cable: Next time you take a shot at somebody, make sure you hit him.
Worthington: I'll remember that. [Fires another blast at Cable but misses again, Cable returns fire and knocks Worthington off the patio.]
Cable: You got a short memory.

Phaneron ★

The Cure - S1-E9

Cable: I'm looking for Gottfried Adler.
Pyro: Well of course you are, old darling. He's such a popular fellow. [Pyro tries to shoot his flamethrowers at Cable, but Cable dodges and blasts Pyro into the ocean].
Cable: Don't call me darling.

Phaneron ★

Night of the Sentinels: Part 2 - S1-E2

Wolverine: [To Jean Grey after slicing off the top of Cyclops' car.] Tell Cyclops I made him a convertible.

Phaneron ★

The Loud Solomon Family: A Dickumentary - S5-E9

Harry: My name is Harry, and I'm an alcoholic.
Receptionist: Okay, this is Triple A.
Dick: So you refuse to help this man?

Phaneron ★

Days of Future Past: Part 2 - S1-E12

Bishop: I should have known better than to play poker with an assassin.
Gambit: Shut up fool! [Throws a kinetically charged card at Bishop to no effect.]
Bishop: I can absorb your bio-energy and channel it right back.
Wolverine: I think he's getting ready to raise you.
Bishop: [Shoots an energy blast at Gambit which he narrowly avoids.] That's my mutant power.
Wolverine: [Extends his claws in Bishop's face.] How would you like to try absorbing these? Now sit down, both of you, or cards won't be the only thing that gets cut around here.

Phaneron ★

Heart of Ice - S1-E3

Batman: Freeze!
Mr. Freeze: That's Mr. Freeze to you.

Phaneron ★

Two-Face (1) - S1-E17

Rupert Thorne: All men have something to hide. The brighter the picture, the darker the negative.

Phaneron ★

Dick and Taxes - S4-E12

[The Solomons discover that they owe $9,500 in back-taxes.]
Tommy: $9,500?
Sally: Oh my god you guys, what are we gonna do?
Tommy: I mean look at all these receipts from all these meals. If we'd only talked about business during some of them we could write off all this money as deductions.
Dick: Who says we didn't talk about business?
Tommy: Yes, 'cause that's the only reason we ever go out to eat anyway, right, is to talk about business.
Sally: Business.
Harry: Okay, I must tune out because I never hear us talking about business.
Dick: Yes, we can lie on our taxes.
Tommy: I can't believe that no human has ever thought of this before.
Sally: Okay, wait a second you guys. What if we get caught?
Dick: How can we get caught? All those other dopes out there are telling the truth about their taxes, they're just going to assume that we are too.

Phaneron ★

Dick, Who's Coming to Dinner - S5-E6

[The Solomons are sitting in their car after attending a white power rally.]
Sally: Well it's a good thing Barry White wasn't there.
Harry: Those guys were kinda creepy.
Tommy: Why do you think they burned that giant lower-case letter T?
Dick: I don't want to be a part of any group that hates the lower-case letter T.

Phaneron ★