Rufus: In the three years I followed His ass around Jerusalem, did I ever get laid? Hell no. And I was in my prime. I could've been knee-deep in shepherd's daughters, not to mention fine-ass Mary Magdalene. She had a thing for dark meat, if you follow me.
Serendipity: I have issues with anyone who treats faith as a burden instead of a blessing. You people don't celebrate your faith; you mourn it.
Rufus: You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
Jay: I can't wait to die.
Jay: I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar.
Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck?
Metatron: Anyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now.
Jay: Guys like us just don't fall out of the sky, you know.
[Rufus falls out of the sky.]
Jay: Beautiful, naked, big-titted women just don't fall out of the sky, you know!
Continuity mistake: When Silent Bob renders the demon disabled by using the anti-odour spray, you see him take the spray out of his coat and spray with his thumb. However, it cuts to a front view, and he is clearly seen using his index finger. It then cuts to Bob's rear, and he is, again, spraying with his thumb.
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