Old School (2003)

Beanie: I'd like to welcome you all to the Mitch Martin Freedom Festival. Now for those of you who don't know who Mitch Martin is, he's the very successful, very disease-free gentleman standing by the mini-bar. Now, courtesy of Speaker City, which is slashing prices on everything from beepers to DVD players, give a warm welcome Harrison welcome to my pal and your favorite, Snoop Dogg.

Waiter: Love, it's a motherfucker, huh?

Frank: All we are is dust in the wind.

Frank: Jerry, are you a statistics major or something?
Jerry: Actually I am. Minoring in Hebrew science.
Frank: Well, I didn't know that. Because you didn't tell me. Now I look like a jackass.

Beanie: You think I like avoiding my wife and kids to hangout with nineteen-year-old girls everyday?

Frank: That's how you do it. That's how you debate.

Beanie: He's playing hardball. And I got to admit. I'm impressed.

Beanie: Well why don't you give me your number in case anything happens to my wife.

Frank: In this corner, weighing in at 110 pounds and pushing 89 years of age and the recent recipient of a brand new plastic hip, Joseph "Blue" Polaski.

Beanie: Don't say sorry to me, Frank. Say it to the baby.
Frank: Sorry, baby.

Dean Pritchard: Listen, Chang.
Megan Huang: It's Huang.
Dean Pritchard: Whatever.

Barry, Oral Sex Instructor: The secret to a good BJ is focus. I don't care if we're talking about your husband of 10 years or just some hot sailor you met at TGI Fridays a couple of months ago who never did call me back but did leave me with a little something called herpes... which I then gave to the dog. But that's neither here nor there. Grab your vegetables.

Beanie: Good luck to everybody. Nice to know you all and I'll see you around campus.

Frank: Snoop! snoop-A-LOOP.

Frank: I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.
College Student: A big day? Doing what?
Frank: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, and Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.

Frank: A little housewarming gift.
Mitch: I actually gave this to you for your wedding.
Frank: This model?
Mitch: That exact one.

Gordon Pritchard: Half these guys don't even go here and that one guy is like ninety.

Nicole: I heard one of your pledges died. Is that true?
Mitch: Well, yes, but Blue was really old. And I feel pretty confident when we get the autopsy back it'll say natural causes.

Waiter: And don't worry. For the Godfather, it's always on the house.

Beanie: That party that we had last night has given us a lot of street cred.