
Bob Stone: You're like a black Will Smith.

Joe Dixon: There are a whole bunch of Negros coming this way. And we're looking like a big ol' bucket of fried chicken.

Volmer: Do you know what the cure for the human condition is? Disease. Because that's the only way one could hope for a cure.

Lady Hideko: You can even curse at me or steal things from me. But please don't lie to me. Understand?

Sam Larson: If I go in there, I'm am gonna get murdered in the face.

Will Davis: Charlie got a job today.
Jillian Stewart: McDonald's or Taco Bell?
Charlie: Middle school chemistry teacher.
Jillian Stewart: I weep for our future.

Arthur Bishop: Tell your principal it never pays to fuck with the dead.

Ambrose Hilliard: You and me given opportunities only because young men are gone. But to turn or back on those opportunities, wouldn't that be giving death dominion over life?

Willie: Spare some change. Think about somebody besides your fucking self.