Jay: In this world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, the monkey will spank us!
Oz: All right, here's a new idea for you, Stifler, okay? You find a girl. You two become best friends. And you don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other. You just laugh at the people that do count.
Stifler: Here's a new idea for you. I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass.
Peter Appleton: I thought this was a democracy.
Leo Kubelsky: The Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, they're all just pieces of paper with signatures on them. And you know what a piece of paper with a signature is: a contract. Something that can be renegotiated at any time. Just so happens that the House un-American activities committee is renegotiating the contract this time around. Next time it will be somebody else, but it will always be somebody.
Jonathan: You are a strange and interesting woman.
Goli: Will our dream ever come true? No, Bhuvan. It hurts too much to dream like that.
Bhuvan: Have faith, Goli. He who has truth and courage in his heart shall win in the end.
Narrator: Life is like the foam of the sea. You must dive into it.
Nadia: My name is Sophia.
John: Sophia. Hello, Sophia. Mine's still John.
Nadia: Hello, John.
Slim: What are you, some kind of Astronaut?
Jimmy: No, I'm some kind of bubble boy.
Sam: I've been using since I was 12! You're also unbelievably stupid, you know that? You didn't give a shit about anything I did up until now.
George: Well, I'll apologize for everything but today! Today I give a shit.
Sharon Pogue: Then I realised that it doesn't have to be perfect. I mean, it can be whatever it is.
Odin: Where is my scarf?
Desi: I don't know.
Odin: You lost it?
Desi: No, I just misplaced it.
Odin: Does Michael know where my scarf is?
Desi: What? If you're asking me if I'm cheating on you, get some balls and ask! Michael? You're the only person I've ever been with and you're the only person I want to be with! And if you want to be with me you never talk to me like that again, ever.
Sara: Nelson do you want to be my November.
Nelson: Yes.
Wayne: So, Coach, how's your parole coming?
Coach Norton: Not good. The victim's whiny family keeps complaining.
J.D.: God! What is their problem?
Leroy: Kevlar is for pussies.
Carmen Naranjo: Do you know why we clink glasses before drinking?.. It's so that all the five senses are involved. We touch the glass. We smell the drink. We see its color. We taste it. Hearing is the only sense that doesn't participate unless we create it.
Iris: I'm a wonderful housekeeper. I got divorced three times, and I kept all the houses.
Meg Harper: You're having a panic attack, do you know what that means?
Joe: It sounds pretty self-explanatory.
Charlotte Gray: Tomorrow, I'm dirty down there. We'll be together tomorrow when I'm clean, you want me clean right?
Renech: If you try to leave.
Charlotte Gray: I won't.
Renech: I'm not afraid to kill you.
Charlotte Gray: Tomorrow.
Renech: You will come, I know many people. You understand? Many people.
Charlotte Gray: I understand... I understand.
Billy: It's women that's shaped like leaves, and men fall.