Athletic Cone: I have learned much from watching the Garthok battle. It has weaknesses. I believe I can take it.
Beldar Conehead: Uh-huh. And let me know when Elvis gets here.
Paul: It is the worst kind of yellowness to be so scared of yourself that you put blindfolds on rather than deal with yourself. To face ourselves - that's the hard thing. The imagination - that's God's gift, to make the act of self-examination bearable.
Tobias 'Toby' Wolff: Mom, you can leave too, I'm leaving, you don't have to stay here for this shit.
Caroline Wolff Hansen: I don't, do I?
Tobias 'Toby' Wolff: No, you don't.
Caroline Wolff Hansen: I could leave with you right now, couldn't I?
Tobias 'Toby' Wolff: Yes, you could.
Caroline Wolff Hansen: I could walk right out that door, couldn't I?
Tobias 'Toby' Wolff: Yes.
Dwight Hansen: What?
Caroline Wolff Hansen: I'm leaving you, Dwight.
Max Goldman: If I had known I would be doing a nude scene, I'd have asked for another million.
Sister Mary Robert: The only thing the chef knows how to cook is German sausage.
Sister Mary Lazarus: Day after day, liverwurst, bratwurst, beerwurst.
Sister Mary Patrick: It's the "worst."
Rebecca Carlson: There's nothing wrong with admitting that you want me, Frank.
Nancy Archer: Missed me?
Harry Archer: I don't suppose you want to hear my side of this?
Mikey Ubriacco: I don't wanna brush my teeth. I brushed them last Saturday.
James: I know, but you're gonna have plants growing out of your mouth.
James Wright: How many Beatles are there?
Kyle Davidson: Three... and Ringo.
Doug Ireland: Nothing's impossible Albert. Impossible just takes a couple extra phone calls.
Michael Chapman: I turned Angela from a pickpocket into a star into a shoplifter.
Steve Lattimer: I don't know, its the battle, the going to war with the other guys, hanging together, having our own dorm, staying in hotels the night before the games, setting ourselves apart, being different than everybody else, having a chance to be somebody, to do something that people look up to you for, your strength, your courage, not everybody can play football... were the lucky ones.