Grumpy Old Men
Movie Quote Quiz

Max Goldman: If I had known I would be doing a nude scene, I'd have asked for another million.

Max Goldman: You mean the low-life, ass-wipe, egg-sucker John Gustafson?
Snyder: Have you seen him?
Max Goldman: The man's crazy. Loco. Always hanging out around those kinky strip bars. You know, the ones where the men take their clothes off. That's of course if he's taken his medication.
Snyder: Medication?
Max Goldman: Yes, without it he could be anywhere. Wandering around talking to the trees. I'm telling you the man's a menace, he's always drinking, starting fights.

John Gustafson: You're supposed to be smoking filter cigarettes.
Grandpa Gustafson: I'm 94 years old. What the hell do I care?

Max Goldman: Do me a favor. Put your lip over your head... and swallow.

Max Goldman: You know what Jacob said? Jacob said old Billy Hensel was killed in a car crash. Cleared his car straight off the bridge into the Mississippi.
John Gustafson: Lucky bastard.
Max Goldman: You bet.
John Gustafson: Hey, how is he, anyway?
Max Goldman: Dead! Died on impact.
John Gustafson: Jacob, moron, Jacob.

Grandpa Gustafson: Looks like Chuck's taking old one-eye to the optometrist.

Max Goldman: Did you win the Lottery Dickhead?
John Gustafson: Enjoy your shower Smart Ass?

Max Goldman: Up yours, Gustafson.

John Gustafson: We did the horizontal mambo.

Max Goldman: Hey dickhead you win the lottery?

Max Goldman: She chose me, and anyone who says different is a damn liar.

Weatherman: Cold enough for ya? Brrrrrrr.
Max Goldman: Oh, shut up, fatass.

Max Goldman: When I had my ulcers, I was farting razor blades.

John Gustafson: ...very interesting woman.
Jacob: Sounds like a wacko to me.
John Gustafson: I haven't had sex for fifteen years.

Max Goldman: Who's the guy yakkin' at your door?
John Gustafson: Just mind your own business, will ya?
Max Goldman: Mind your own business, will ya? Mind your own business. Why don't you tie your shoelace, you'll fall on your stupid head.

Max Goldman: Good morning, dickhead.
John Gustafson: Hello, moron.

Grandpa Gustafson: Drop that fish.

Max Goldman: Gotta use hot water, dickhead.

Max Goldman: Hey, watch your mouth you dumb friggin' Swede.

Visible crew/equipment: In the VHS edition, one can see a reflection of a boom mic in the painting above the staircase landing as Ann-Margret goes up the stairs to Jack Lemmon's bathroom, and again when she comes down. (02:51:30)

More mistakes in Grumpy Old Men

Trivia: When John and his dad are walking to dad's fishing shanty, in the background is a pole with location and mile arrows. One of the arrows says "Rosie's Seoul" - an obvious reference to M*A*S*H, where one of the props is a similar pole.

More trivia for Grumpy Old MenMore movie quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.