Max Goldman: Hey, watch your mouth you dumb friggin' Swede.
Max Goldman: If I had known I would be doing a nude scene, I'd have asked for another million.
Max Goldman: You mean the low-life, ass-wipe, egg-sucker John Gustafson?
Snyder: Have you seen him?
Max Goldman: The man's crazy. Loco. Always hanging out around those kinky strip bars. You know, the ones where the men take their clothes off. That's of course if he's taken his medication.
Snyder: Medication?
Max Goldman: Yes, without it he could be anywhere. Wandering around talking to the trees. I'm telling you the man's a menace, he's always drinking, starting fights.
Max Goldman: Gotta use hot water, dickhead.
Max Goldman: Do me a favor. Put your lip over your head... and swallow.
Max Goldman: Good morning, dickhead.
John Gustafson: Hello, moron.
John Gustafson: ...very interesting woman.
Jacob: Sounds like a wacko to me.
John Gustafson: I haven't had sex for fifteen years.
Weatherman: Cold enough for ya? Brrrrrrr.
Max Goldman: Oh, shut up, fatass.
Max Goldman: Hey dickhead you win the lottery?
Max Goldman: Up yours, Gustafson.
Grandpa Gustafson: Looks like Chuck's taking old one-eye to the optometrist.
John Gustafson: You're supposed to be smoking filter cigarettes.
Grandpa Gustafson: I'm 94 years old. What the hell do I care?
Max Goldman: Who's the guy yakkin' at your door?
John Gustafson: Just mind your own business, will ya?
Max Goldman: Mind your own business, will ya? Mind your own business. Why don't you tie your shoelace, you'll fall on your stupid head.
Max Goldman: When I had my ulcers, I was farting razor blades.
Max Goldman: She chose me, and anyone who says different is a damn liar.
John Gustafson: We did the horizontal mambo.
Max Goldman: Did you win the Lottery Dickhead?
John Gustafson: Enjoy your shower Smart Ass?
Max Goldman: You know what Jacob said? Jacob said old Billy Hensel was killed in a car crash. Cleared his car straight off the bridge into the Mississippi.
John Gustafson: Lucky bastard.
Max Goldman: You bet.
John Gustafson: Hey, how is he, anyway?
Max Goldman: Dead! Died on impact.
John Gustafson: Jacob, moron, Jacob.
Grandpa Gustafson: Drop that fish.
Answer: John Gustafson and his wife, May, were divorced after 20 years of marriage.
Charles Austin Miller