Michaelangelo: Man, I love being a turtle.
Rebecca Carlson: There's nothing wrong with admitting that you want me, Frank.
Joon: Don't underestimate the mentally ill. We know how to count.
Hope Burnford: Hungry?
Sassy: No.
Hope Burnford: But it's shrimp. You like shrimp.
Sassy: Yeah, well, I've still got those four pesky ounces still hanging on from last Christmas.
Bonnie: He's not afraid of losing. He's afraid of losing your love. How many ball players grow up afraid of losing their fathers' love every time they come up to the plate?
Fred: All of them.
Bonnie: He knows you disapprove of him. He knows you think he's weak. But he's not weak. He's decent. And if you or Bruce or anyone else tries to beat that out of him, I swear to God I'll take him away.
John Connor: They say if you resort to violence, then you've already lost.
Barney Cousins: You don't care if she's alive or dead anymore.
Jeff Harriman: Yes I do.
Jeff Harriman: No you don't. You're just scared that without the search you won't know who you are. Who is Jeff Harriman, if he's not the guy looking for Diane? Can you really walk away from finally knowing the answer?
Larry Lipton: Claustrophobia and a dead body - this is a neurotic's jackpot.
Mikey Ubriacco: I don't wanna brush my teeth. I brushed them last Saturday.
James: I know, but you're gonna have plants growing out of your mouth.
Athletic Cone: I have learned much from watching the Garthok battle. It has weaknesses. I believe I can take it.
Beldar Conehead: Uh-huh. And let me know when Elvis gets here.
Rich: So, how'd your mom react when you told her about the wedding?
Waverly Jong: It never came up.
Rich: How come?
Waverly Jong: She'd rather get rectal cancer.
Michael Chapman: I turned Angela from a pickpocket into a star into a shoplifter.
Kay Curley: It's a terrible shock.
Dessie Curley: What is?
Kay Curley: Being married for 25 years, and finding out your husband's a prick.
Jubei: Gemma! Did you miss the flames of hell? Is that why you came here?
Lord Himuro Gemma: So it's you, Jubei. I should've finished you off myself when I had the opportunity.
Jubei: I thought rats usually leave a sinking ship.
Lord Himuro Gemma: Heh! I suppose you want to avenge that ninja girl, Kagero. She's nothing compared to what I'm going to lose with this ship.
Jubei: Prepare to lose your life as well.
James Wright: How many Beatles are there?
Kyle Davidson: Three... and Ringo.
Doug Ireland: Nothing's impossible Albert. Impossible just takes a couple extra phone calls.
Otto: You know we don't stand a chance. Why not surrender?
Capt. Hermann Musk: You know what would happen if we do.
Otto: Do we deserve any better?
Capt. Hermann Musk: Otto, I'm not a Nazi.
Otto: No, you're worse. Lousy officers. You went along with it all, even though you knew who was in charge. Hermann.
Eddie Papasano: Let me tell you people something, no matter what happens here today, if you try to close my joint, I 'll sue the ass off you.
Dr. Don Francis: Doesn't it bother you knowing that the people who have sex in your bath-house are playing Russian roulette?
Eddie Papasano: Please just cut out this bullshit. We're all in this for one thing: money. I make'em when the guys come in. You doctors, you make'em when they go out.