Otto: You know we don't stand a chance. Why not surrender?
Capt. Hermann Musk: You know what would happen if we do.
Otto: Do we deserve any better?
Capt. Hermann Musk: Otto, I'm not a Nazi.
Otto: No, you're worse. Lousy officers. You went along with it all, even though you knew who was in charge. Hermann.
Mikey Ubriacco: I don't wanna brush my teeth. I brushed them last Saturday.
James: I know, but you're gonna have plants growing out of your mouth.
Bonnie: He's not afraid of losing. He's afraid of losing your love. How many ball players grow up afraid of losing their fathers' love every time they come up to the plate?
Fred: All of them.
Bonnie: He knows you disapprove of him. He knows you think he's weak. But he's not weak. He's decent. And if you or Bruce or anyone else tries to beat that out of him, I swear to God I'll take him away.
Michael Chapman: I turned Angela from a pickpocket into a star into a shoplifter.
Doug Ireland: Nothing's impossible Albert. Impossible just takes a couple extra phone calls.
Rebecca Carlson: There's nothing wrong with admitting that you want me, Frank.
Mary Jo Buttafuoco: This is, like, the worst thing that could ever happen.
Miss Kenton: Why? Why, Mr. Stevens, why do you always have to hide what you feel?
Larry Lipton: Claustrophobia and a dead body - this is a neurotic's jackpot.
Max Goldman: If I had known I would be doing a nude scene, I'd have asked for another million.
Ms. Stroud: Okay guys, one more thing, this summer when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth of July brouhaha, don't forget what you're celebrating, and that's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn't want to pay their taxes.
Euripides: Yeah, yeah, I'm lickin' your balls, best balls I ever had. Uh-huh, you've got King-Kong balls. Your balls are so large, just big balls, I don't care. You just got big balls.
Sister Mary Clarence: If you wake up in the morning, and you can't think anything but singing, then you should be a singer, girl.