Larry Lipton: Claustrophobia and a dead body - this is a neurotic's jackpot.
Larry Lipton: You're suggesting we try to provoke him into murdering us?
Marcia Fox: You have a problem with that?
Larry Lipton: Well, either that, or I suddenly developed Parkinson's.
Carol Lipton: You know I've never seen a dead body before.
Larry Lipton: I have. My uncle Morris, 93 years old. He collapsed from too many lumps in his cereal.
Larry Lipton: Don't do this! We should be asleep now in one of our many cuddling positions.
Marilyn: I'd like to French pastry myself to death, right now.
Larry Lipton: I'm a world renowned claustrophobic.
Lillian House: Exercising changed my life.
Larry Lipton: I prefer to atrophy.
Larry Lipton: I think it's a reasonable assumption that if you're dead you don't suddenly turn up in the New York City Transit System.
Larry Lipton: My favorite thing in life is, you know, to look at cancelled postage.
Carol Lipton: Well, listen, I think maybe I will go back to seeing my shrink, I think, I think I.
Larry Lipton: You don't have to see your shrink, there's nothing wrong with you that can't be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet.
Larry Lipton: Meanwhile, I can't get that Flying Dutchman theme out of my head. Remind me tomorrow to buy up all the Wagner records in town and rent a chainsaw.
Larry Lipton: This guy gets his jollies from licking the back of postage stamps.
Ted: I can see that, depending on who's on the stamp.
Larry Lipton: I forbid. I forbid you to go. I'm forbidding... Is that what you do when I'm forbidding?
Larry Lipton: Ted has a mind like a steel sieve.
Larry Lipton: New York is the city that never sleeps! That's why we don't live in Duluth. That, plus I don't even know where Duluth is. Lucky me.
Larry Lipton: I was in a deep sleep - I was dreaming of round card girls.
Carol Lipton: Look at you, you're all white.
Larry Lipton: All the blood rushed to my brother.
Carol Lipton: Did you see this? This man in Missouri killed twelve victims, dismembered them, and ate them.
Larry Lipton: Really? Well, it's an alternative lifestyle.
Paul House: Well, what do you buy a woman who has everything?
Lillian House: We already own twin cemetery plots.
Larry Lipton: I always think a Bentley is in good taste. Or, you could go the route I did and buy her a set of handkerchiefs.
Carol Lipton: Well, they were very nice though, and they had my initials.
Larry Lipton: Yeah, and I didn't even know her size.
Larry Lipton: I like a hotel with lots of blue powder sprinkled along the base boards.