Coneheads (1993)

Athletic Cone: I have learned much from watching the Garthok battle. It has weaknesses. I believe I can take it.
Beldar Conehead: Uh-huh. And let me know when Elvis gets here.

Beldar Conehead: An owner's manual to a Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable.
Highmaster: Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable?
Beldar Conehead: A personal conveyance named after its inventor, an assassinated ruler, a character from Greco-Roman myth and a small fur-covered mammal.
Highmaster: Ah.

Highmaster: Let it be written... are you writing this?

Otto: Are you telling me you don't have a social security number?
Beldar Conehead: Correct.
Otto: Why not?
Beldar Conehead: I am an illegal alien.

Prymatt Conehead: I was a young cone myself once. Before I met Beldar, I was very attracted to a young Thorasian forger. And I far as I was concerned there was no other life force in the universe that mattered. But then he got a job working at a volcano complex on some moon in the Petulaus Cluster. I never saw him again. And it broke my blood valve chamber.

Eli Turnbull, INS Agent: If they are in fact aliens from another planet, sir, doesn't that make them Airforce jurisdiction?
Gorman Seedling, INS Deputy Commissioner: If they're just visiting, sure. But the minute they try to work here, they're mine.

Prymatt Conehead: You know Connie, I read in a magazine that you can talk to me about anything.

Ronnie: Yeah, my grandfather's from the "Old Country."
Connie: Oh really, which one?
Ronnie: I'm not sure. One of the big ones.

Lisa Farber: All men are pigs.
Prymatt Conehead: Ah, pigs. An omnivorous domesticated cloven-hooved vertebrate that defecates in the same place it consumes.
Lisa Farber: Exactly.

Connie: How can it take so long to do a simple alignment on an american sedan with standard rack-and-pinion steering and MacPherson struts When your garage is equipped with the proper Borg-Warner digital hydraulic radiometer?
Ronnie: Maybe because I was out back finishing a beer.