Johnny: You're not wasting my time, I'm just cooling.
Henry: That table in my dining room is not the table I ordered. That table looks like a...Goddamn turtle. I demand the table I ordered within the next few days.
Danielle: Where are you anyway?
Alex Wagner: I'm taking my brother on a fishing trip.
Danielle: Give him a big kiss for me, all right?
Alex Wagner: Big kiss? I'll give him a big kick in the ass, that's what I'll give him.
William "Billy" Tepper: All right, what now?
Derek 'Yogurt': All right, all right. Very, very carefully take the red chip out of the receiver.
William "Billy" Tepper: There is no red chip.
Derek 'Yogurt': There must be.
William "Billy" Tepper: Well I'm sorry, there isn't. There's a blue chip the same size as the red chip, but there's no red chip.
Derek 'Yogurt': That must be it then.
William "Billy" Tepper: Well is it, or isn't it?
Derek 'Yogurt': I don't know.
Louise: Look, Thelma, you just gotta stop talking to people. You gotta stop being so open. We're fugitives now, all right? Let's start behaving like that.
Minako: This is a nice place.
Chris Kenner: I built it.
Fred Tate: My first grade teacher, Miss Nimvel, told Dede that I never paid attention. That I was probably retarded, and that I had a very limited future as a citizen of the United States. Then a week later, she said I should probably skip second grade, maybe even skip elementary school altogether.
Detective Mastrionotti: Started in Kansas City. Couple of housewives.
Detective Deutsch: Couple days ago we see the same M.O. out in Los Feliz.
Detective Mastrionotti: Doctor. Ear, nose and throat man.
Detective Deutsch: All of which he's now missin'.
Detective Mastrionotti: Well, some of his throat was there.
Detective Deutsch: Physician, heal thyself.
Detective Mastrionotti: Good luck with no fuckin' head.
Detective Deutsch: Anyway.
Chains: This is either gonna be the biggest pork chop I ever ate, or my bulldozer.
Mickey Cohen: Hey, this conversation is beneath me.
Kate Sullivan: For someone who doesn't have anything nice to say about lawyers you certainly have plenty of them around.
Lawrence Garfield: They're like nuclear warheads. They have theirs, so I have mine. Once you use them they f - - everything up.
Billie Pike: How old are you?
Willard Young: Ten. How old are you?
Billie Pike: Nine. I thought you'd be bigger.
Willard Young: Hey! Look who's talking, you midget. It just so happens I'm exactly the right size for my age. So why don't you just get lost?
Billie Pike: You don't have to go crazy. It was just an observation.
Al: Come on, what do I gotta do?
Patricia: You could crawl through broken glass on your hands and knees with a sign on your back that says asshole. That might get you in the door.
Bookstore owner: You're the D.A..
Nick Styles: Wrong! They fired me. As a private citizen I can kick anybody's ass I want to.
Det. Gino Felino: Whose hot dog is this, eh?
Tom Frost: No American should find himself in a foreign land without a pistol.
Al: Why did you never answer any of my letters?
Sonora: I never got any letters.
Al: Well, I wrote you just about everyday.
Sonora: What did you say?
Al: Stuff.
Sonora: What kind of stuff?
Al: Well... you know... stuff.
Harris: We've got sun, earth, and atmosphere, and when you've got that, you've got weather.
Josephine Baker: Hollywood wants me to play maids - I have maids of my own.