Harris: Okay, more wacky, less egghead. What was your name again?
Harris: I'm not kissing anyone hello anymore.
Trudi: Well just shake hands with them.
Harris: Are you kidding? I just wash my hands and I shake hands with some guy that feels like he's been squashing caterpillars.
Mr. Perdue, Maitre D' at L'Idiot: You think with a financial statement like this you can have the duck?
Sara: What did you have in mind?
Harris: Well, I was thinking of taking you on a cultural tour of L.A.
Sara: That's the first fifteen minutes, then what?
Harris: All right, a cynic. First stop is six blocks from here.
Sara: Why don't we walk?
Harris: Walk? A walk in L.A.?
Frank Swan: What do you do for a living, Rollie?
Roland: I deal in English paintings.
Frank Swan: Abstract or realistic?
Roland: Depends on which way you look at them, I suppose.
Harris: So, I'll see you Sunday?
Trudi: I got a shower Sunday.
Harris: Oh yeah, and I really should take a bath... Monday?
Harris: You're on time.
Sara: Actually I'm late.
Harris: You're exactly on time.
Sara: But I had planned to be early.
Harris: We've got sun, earth, and atmosphere, and when you've got that, you've got weather.
SanDeE: I don't put any pressure on you, do I?
Harris: Not at all... I don't pressure you, do I?
SanDeE: No, no, I just don't think there should be any pressure.
Harris: No. Tell me if I pressure you.
SanDeE: OK. And you too, but don't feel like you have to.
Mr. Perdue, Maitre D' at L'Idiot: Your usual table, Mr. Christopher?
Carlo Christopher: No, I'd like a good one this time.
Mr. Perdue, Maitre D' at L'Idiot: I'm sorry, that is impossible.
Carlo Christopher: Part of the new cruelty?
Mr. Perdue, Maitre D' at L'Idiot: I'm afraid so.
Harris: I call it performance art, but my friend Ariel calls it wasting time. History will decide.
Tom: I'll have a decaf coffee.
Trudi: I'll have a decaf espresso.
Morris Frost: I'll have a double decaf cappuccino.
Ted: Give me decaffeinated coffee ice cream.
Harris: I'll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf, with a twist of lemon.
Trudi: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Tom: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Morris Frost: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Cynthia: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Harris: SanDeE, your... your breasts feel weird.
SanDeE: Oh, that's 'cause they're real.
Harris: A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true.
Harris: I could never be a woman, 'cause I'd just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
The Signboard: R.U.O.K.?
SanDeE: I'm studying to be a spokesmodel.
Harris: What is, what is a spokesmodel?
SanDeE: Um, it's just a model who speaks, you know, and she points at things like merchandise, you know, like a car or washer and dryer. Sometimes it's something really small, you know, like, like a book or fine art print.
Harris: They have classes for that?
SanDeE: Yeah, 'cause it's a lot harder than it looks.
Harris: A sign spoke to me, said I was in trouble.
Trudi: If you're talking to signs, you are in trouble.
Harris: There's someone out there for everyone - even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
Roland: That's the difference between England and America. The English maintain civil relationships with their exes. Americans sue them.
