Student's dad: Why don't you just send your troops in there and shoot the sons of bitches!
Ricardo Montoya: You can't smoke in the dorms.
Jonathan "Snuffy" Bradberry: What are they going to do? Kick me out?
Dean Parker: Do you think you're the first kid to put liquor in mouthwash bottles? It was done in my day. I may have even done it myself.
Headmaster: Now this object I'm holding here is call... well some of you may have seen one before, it's called a book. You may have seen one on television.
William "Billy" Tepper: Great, the school gets taken over by terrorists and I'm still on pots and pans.
Frank Ingram, Guard: Dean's waiting for you guys back in your room.
William "Billy" Tepper: Pleasure knowing you.
William "Billy" Tepper: You're fuckin' morons. You know that don't you? You're fuckin' morons.
Ricardo Montoya: That's why we hang with you Billy.
William "Billy" Tepper: All right, what now?
Derek 'Yogurt': All right, all right. Very, very carefully take the red chip out of the receiver.
William "Billy" Tepper: There is no red chip.
Derek 'Yogurt': There must be.
William "Billy" Tepper: Well I'm sorry, there isn't. There's a blue chip the same size as the red chip, but there's no red chip.
Derek 'Yogurt': That must be it then.
William "Billy" Tepper: Well is it, or isn't it?
Derek 'Yogurt': I don't know.
Henry "Hank" Giles, III: Well, we managed to stay together anyways.
Ricardo Montoya: Yeah, that's my ambition in life - to die with you guys.
Dean Parker: I'm not going to expel you. Three schools have done that and it's obviously done nothing for your character... I'm going to do much worse. I am going to keep you here until you graduate. It'll probably take years at this rate.
William "Billy" Tepper: I might wear you out before then.
Dean Parker: Oh don't you worry about wearing me out. I'm going to wear you out.
Henry "Hank" Giles III: Mouthwash?
William "Billy" Tepper: Yes, mouthwash... but maybe not.
Henry "Hank" Giles III: What's the deal, Billy? Are you trying to tell me my breath stinks?
William "Billy" Tepper: I wasn't saying your breath stinks. Why do you take everything so personally? Damn, Hank.
William "Billy" Tepper: If you're going to kick me out, kick me out. Don't make me look like a nark to my friends.
Dean Parker: If we expelled you that would make four prep schools in four years. Are you trying for the Guinness Book of Records?
William "Billy" Tepper: Come on man, get up. We've gotta strike back or I'm going to look like a douche bag in front of the entire school.
Joseph "Joey" Trotta: You were born looking like a douche bag.