Hitchhiker: Thanks for the ride, lady.
Grandpa: One thing I about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach. All the damn vampires.
Horace: Wolfman's got nards.
Michael Brody: Dad died of a heart attack!
Ellen Brody: No. He died from fear. Fear of that shark.
Loy Colton: Caleb, those people back there, they wasn't normal. Normal folks, they don't spit out bullets when you shoot 'em, no sir.
Terrence 'Terry' Chandler: Demons aren't gonna ring the doorbell.
Jerry Blake: Hodgkins, what's to get wrong?
Mrs. Biddle: This man out of absolutely nowhere, this man appeared. Heh! So charming. Not really handsome, but... riveting. Yes, that's the word. I was riveted. I was looking into his eyes, and I found myself thinking thoughts I hadn't entertained since World War II. I think I actually... blushed.
Peter: Lock the door, and hide the key. Go on. Do as your director says.
Jeremy Capello: This blood's for you.
Jimmy Hallik: Relax... I'm not some kind of crazy killer.
Little Girl: You're gonna hurt my kitty.
Jack Citron: You know this movie's about pop culture? In the 60s, Andy Warhol showed us how Pop could be high art. That everything is high art. That's what this is all about. For example, in your first scene you'll be gang raped by four monsters.
Mr. Damnkids: Damn kids.
Gramps: Don't call me sir! I ain't no politician.
Ricky Caldwell: My old lady couldn't afford to send me to college. So I got a job. I was washing dishes, dumping trash... all that sort of shit. I think you're gonna like this next part. It sounded like some squirrel getting his nuts squeezed.
Gabriel: What's the matter... afraid of the dark?
Judy Bower: No... afraid of what's in the dark.
Lester Bacon: Buddy's a good boy, but he has what you might call basic hygiene problems.