Alex: David, please be rational. Let's go and see Dr. Hirsch.
David: Yeah, be rational. Sure. I'm a fucking werewolf, for Christ's sake.
Ned: You can stand here with me if you want but you'll have to agree not to talk about the heat.
Matty: I'm a married woman.
Ned: Meaning what?
Matty: Meaning I'm not looking for company.
Ned: Then you should have said I'm a happily married woman.
Frank: Did it ever occur to you, to try to work for a living? Take down your own scores?
Unnamed Detective: OK, fuck this guy.
Urrizi: I'll tell you something, I'm gonna be on your ass so much, you're gonna get careless. And on that day I'm gonna be in that place.
Frank: And that, is the last place that you wanna be. 'Cause no matter what happens, I will never, ever take a pinch from a greasy motherfucker like you.
Peter Hartman: Oh, for Christ's sake, DaSilva! Come off this cop on the beat mentality! Your wife left you for it! Wasn't that enough.
John Winger: C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like going into Wisconsin.
Russell Ziskey: Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!
Randall: People who are always right make me sick.
Fidgit: That's why you get along with yourself so well.
Bunny Wigglesworth: There is no shame in being poor! Only in dressing poorly.
Sallah: Indy, why does the floor move?
Indiana: Give me your torch. [He drops it in and sees why.] Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?
Sallah: Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.
Susan: Arthur, a real woman could stop you outside from drinking...
Arthur: Yeah, but she'd have to be a real BIG woman!
Ramona: He tried to pork me.
Earl Keese: Pork you? What?
Ramona: You know you did.
Earl Keese: I swear, I never touched her.
Ramona: Well, I wasn't born with your hand in my bush.
Earl Keese: Enid... help me.
The Breather: [On the phone.] I'm gonna kill next at the football game. Click.
Ms. Van Dyke: Did you hang up?
The Breather: No, I just said "click."
Eric Liddell: God made countries, God makes kings, and the rules by which they govern. And those rules say that the Sabbath is His. And I for one intend to keep it that way.
Batman: Mad Dog, you are going to take the shortcut to the interstate, right?
Mad Dog: We're in this to win, ain't we? If you're gonna be a bear, be a grizzly!
Cynthia Hawkins: Do you steal the dresses of all singers?
Jules: No, no.
Cynthia Hawkins: So, I'M the lucky one! I have a fan?
Jules: I heard you in Bordeaux. And last year I went to Munich specially for the concert.
Cynthia Hawkins: You made the trip for me?
Jules: Yes, on the moped.
Cynthia Hawkins: On the moped. So, you ARE a real fan.
Archy Hamilton: I'll see you when I see you.
Frank Dunne: Yeah. Not if I see you first.
Madeline: Hard work being in love, eh? Especially when you don't know which girl it is.
Lucy van Pelt: Linus, have you seen Charlie Brown?
Linus van Pelt: Nobody has seen him since Snoopy's magic show. I just talked to Sally, and she said even when you look at him, you don't see him.
Lucy van Pelt: What's that supposed to mean? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.
Linda: We're gonna get you. We're gonna get you. Not another peep. Time to go to sleep.
Dorcas: What would you buy if you were bored?
Neville: Uh... a jar of calf's foot jelly.
Joan Crawford: Why can't you give me the respect that I'm entitled to? Why can't you treat me like I would be treated by any stranger on the street?
Christina Crawford: Because I am not one of your fans!