Time Bandits (1981)

Randall: People who are always right make me sick.
Fidgit: That's why you get along with yourself so well.

Evil: Oh, Benson... Dear Benson, you are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.
Benson: Oh, you say such nice things, Master.
Evil: Yes I know, I'm sorry.

Randall: Well, this map, Kevin, used to belong to the Supreme Being.
Kevin: You mean you stole it?
Randall: No, no. Well, sort of.

Supreme Being: Do be careful! Don't lose any of that stuff. That's concentrated evil. One drop of that could turn you all into hermit crabs.

Vincent: Pansy! I can explain! It's only the thing on my nose and the hair piece. Everything else is fine.

Vincent: Pansy, look at me.
Pansy: Yes, Vincent.
Vincent: Do you... do you... love me?
Pansy: Of course I love you.
Vincent: You... you don't mind the thing... on my... on my nose.
Pansy: Oh you mean your.
Vincent: Yes, my.
Pansy: No, darling... of course I don't mind.
Vincent: You could get used to have a chap around the house with a... with a... with a damn thing on his nose.
Pansy: Of course, my love. Everyone has something odd about them. Why I've got an enormous.
Vincent: Pansy.

Evil: Show me... show me, subscriber trunk dialing. I must know everything.

Wally: I'm sorry I killed you, Fidgit.

Evil: Stand by for Mind Control.

Kevin: It's some kind of invisible barrier.
Fidgit: Oh, so that's what an invisible barrier looks like.

Evil: God isn't interested in technology. He cares nothing for the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time, forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men.
Robert: Slugs.
Evil: Slugs! he created slugs! They can't hear. They can't speak. They can't operate machinery. Are we not in the hands of a lunatic?

Supreme Being: Oh, I do hate appearing that way, it's an entirely noisy manifestation. Still, rather expected of one, I suppose.

Randall: We made trees and shrubs. We helped make all this.
Kevin: Whew! That's not bad.
Randall: Yeah. But did we get a thimble full of credit for it? No! All we got was the sack. Just for creating the Pink Bunkadoo.
Kevin: Pink Bunkadoo?
Randall: Yeah. Beautiful trees that was. Og designed it. 600 feet high, bright red, and smelled terrible.

Pansy: Oh, you don't have to wear the "special "?
Vincent: No, no, no, I don't have to wear the "special." Anymore.

Evil: Oh, Robert, Benson! I feel the power of evil coursing through my veins, filling every corner of my being with the desire to do wrong! I feel so bad, Benson.
Benson: Good! Good.
Evil: Yes, it is good, for this is the worst kind of badness that I'm feeling.

Vincent: Oh no. The problem. The problem, Pansy! It's started again.
Pansy: Oh! Oh, don't worry, darling.
Vincent: Ohhh... ohhh.
Pansy: I say.
Vincent: I must have fruit.

Evil: Suddenly, I feel very, very good.
Robert: Oh, I'm sorry, Master.
Evil: No, it'll pass, it'll pass.

Kevin: What are we going to do here?
Wally: A robbery.
Kevin: A robbery?
Fidgit: Of course. We're international criminals. We do robberies.
Randall: Shut up.

Napoleon: Don't stand so close to me, Neguy! I've told you about that before. You on one side and him on the other - it's like being on the bottom of a bloody well.

Napoleon: They are all freaks! Not one of them under five foot six. What kind of theater is this?