Time Bandits (1981)

Napoleon: They are all freaks! Not one of them under five foot six. What kind of theater is this?

Randall: We made trees and shrubs. We helped make all this.
Kevin: Whew! That's not bad.
Randall: Yeah. But did we get a thimble full of credit for it? No! All we got was the sack. Just for creating the Pink Bunkadoo.
Kevin: Pink Bunkadoo?
Randall: Yeah. Beautiful trees that was. Og designed it. 600 feet high, bright red, and smelled terrible.

Vincent: Pansy! I can explain! It's only the thing on my nose and the hair piece. Everything else is fine.

Supreme Being: I should do something very extroverted and vengeful to you. Honestly, I'm too tired. So, I think I'll transfer you to the undergrowth department, brackens, more shrubs, that sort of thing... with a 19% cut in salary, backdated to the beginning of time.
Randall: Oh, thank you, sir.
Supreme Being: Yes, well, I am the nice one.

Kevin: Yes, why does there have to be evil?
Supreme Being: I think it has something to do with free will.

Evil: Oh, Robert, Benson! I feel the power of evil coursing through my veins, filling every corner of my being with the desire to do wrong! I feel so bad, Benson.
Benson: Good! Good.
Evil: Yes, it is good, for this is the worst kind of badness that I'm feeling.

Wally: I'm sorry I killed you, Fidgit.

Evil: Now Benson, I shall have to turn you into a dog for a while.

Wally: Do you mean you knew what was happening to us all the time?
Supreme Being: Well, of course. I am the Supreme Being, I'm not entirely dim.

Kevin: What are we going to do here?
Wally: A robbery.
Kevin: A robbery?
Fidgit: Of course. We're international criminals. We do robberies.
Randall: Shut up.

Evil: God isn't interested in technology. He cares nothing for the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time, forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men.
Robert: Slugs.
Evil: Slugs! he created slugs! They can't hear. They can't speak. They can't operate machinery. Are we not in the hands of a lunatic?

Randall: Well, this map, Kevin, used to belong to the Supreme Being.
Kevin: You mean you stole it?
Randall: No, no. Well, sort of.

Kevin: Who was that man?
Fidgit: That was no man. That was the Supreme Being.
Kevin: You mean God?
Fidgit: Well, we don't know Him that well. We only work for Him.
Randall: Shut up.

Pansy: Oh, Sir Vincent, you came for me.
Vincent: Oh, good Mistress Pansy, I could not have ridden faster! Four horses have I exhausted this day from Nottingham.
Pansy: Oh, the way you leapt to my chamber, so full of... of... manliness.
Vincent: I could scarce restrain the rushing of my feet! These twelve long years have been like chains thet bound me.
Pansy: Oh... Oh, and the personal problem?
Vincent: Oh, much - much better.

Pansy: Oh, you don't have to wear the "special "?
Vincent: No, no, no, I don't have to wear the "special." Anymore.

Vincent: Pansy, look at me.
Pansy: Yes, Vincent.
Vincent: Do you... do you... love me?
Pansy: Of course I love you.
Vincent: You... you don't mind the thing... on my... on my nose.
Pansy: Oh you mean your.
Vincent: Yes, my.
Pansy: No, darling... of course I don't mind.
Vincent: You could get used to have a chap around the house with a... with a... with a damn thing on his nose.
Pansy: Of course, my love. Everyone has something odd about them. Why I've got an enormous.
Vincent: Pansy.

Wally: Vermin, that is not meant to be eaten.
Vermin: You never know until you've eaten it.

Kevin: I'll never get the chance to meet Robin Hood again.
Randall: Oh, stop moaning. He's obviously a dangerous man, unbalanced if you ask me. Giving away what isn't even his.
Kevin: That's what Robin Hood always did. Even I know that.
Randall: Of course, you know it all.
Kevin: He was one of my heroes.
Randall: Heroes! Heroes! What do they know about a day's work?

Vincent: Oh no. The problem. The problem, Pansy! It's started again.
Pansy: Oh! Oh, don't worry, darling.
Vincent: Ohhh... ohhh.
Pansy: I say.
Vincent: I must have fruit.

Evil: Stand by for Mind Control.