Time Bandits (1981)

Randall: People who are always right make me sick.
Fidgit: That's why you get along with yourself so well.

Pansy: Oh, Sir Vincent, you came for me.
Vincent: Oh, good Mistress Pansy, I could not have ridden faster! Four horses have I exhausted this day from Nottingham.
Pansy: Oh, the way you leapt to my chamber, so full of... of... manliness.
Vincent: I could scarce restrain the rushing of my feet! These twelve long years have been like chains thet bound me.
Pansy: Oh... Oh, and the personal problem?
Vincent: Oh, much - much better.

Napoleon: Little things hitting each other. THAT'S what I like.

Kevin: Yes, why does there have to be evil?
Supreme Being: I think it has something to do with free will.

Kevin: I'll never get the chance to meet Robin Hood again.
Randall: Oh, stop moaning. He's obviously a dangerous man, unbalanced if you ask me. Giving away what isn't even his.
Kevin: That's what Robin Hood always did. Even I know that.
Randall: Of course, you know it all.
Kevin: He was one of my heroes.
Randall: Heroes! Heroes! What do they know about a day's work?

Supreme Being: Dead? No excuse for lying off work.

Wally: Do you mean you knew what was happening to us all the time?
Supreme Being: Well, of course. I am the Supreme Being, I'm not entirely dim.

Supreme Being: Return what you have stolen from me! Return, return the map! It will bring you great danger. Stop... Now.

Supreme Being: I should do something very extroverted and vengeful to you. Honestly, I'm too tired. So, I think I'll transfer you to the undergrowth department, brackens, more shrubs, that sort of thing... with a 19% cut in salary, backdated to the beginning of time.
Randall: Oh, thank you, sir.
Supreme Being: Yes, well, I am the nice one.

Kevin: Who was that man?
Fidgit: That was no man. That was the Supreme Being.
Kevin: You mean God?
Fidgit: Well, we don't know Him that well. We only work for Him.
Randall: Shut up.

Neguy: You are not small at all, Commander.
Lucien: Not by any means. Five foot one is not small.
Napoleon: Five foot one and conqueror of Italy, not bad huh?

Evil: Now Benson, I shall have to turn you into a dog for a while.

Wally: Vermin, that is not meant to be eaten.
Vermin: You never know until you've eaten it.

Evil: Oh, Benson... Dear Benson, you are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.
Benson: Oh, you say such nice things, Master.
Evil: Yes I know, I'm sorry.

Randall: Well, this map, Kevin, used to belong to the Supreme Being.
Kevin: You mean you stole it?
Randall: No, no. Well, sort of.

Supreme Being: Do be careful! Don't lose any of that stuff. That's concentrated evil. One drop of that could turn you all into hermit crabs.

Vincent: Pansy! I can explain! It's only the thing on my nose and the hair piece. Everything else is fine.

Vincent: Pansy, look at me.
Pansy: Yes, Vincent.
Vincent: Do you... do you... love me?
Pansy: Of course I love you.
Vincent: You... you don't mind the thing... on my... on my nose.
Pansy: Oh you mean your.
Vincent: Yes, my.
Pansy: No, darling... of course I don't mind.
Vincent: You could get used to have a chap around the house with a... with a... with a damn thing on his nose.
Pansy: Of course, my love. Everyone has something odd about them. Why I've got an enormous.
Vincent: Pansy.

Evil: Show me... show me, subscriber trunk dialing. I must know everything.

Wally: I'm sorry I killed you, Fidgit.