Radish: Aha. Shades of Watergate.
Francine Fishpaw: Oh Elmer, that dog stinks to high heaven. You'll be permeated by his odor.
Elmer Fishpaw: Yeah? Well, this whole world stinks, Francine, so get used to it! You and that big nose of yours are startin' to get on my nerves. Snortin' around the place like a goddamned anteater. I've about had it with you. Gimme that drink! Hurry up.
Mark: You're getting a raise out of me all right, but it has nothing to do with money.
Damien Thorn: Nazarene, you have won... nothing.
James Chan: The warrior is not a mountain goat. It is well to remember this.
Cole: I'll be back.
Maureen Cutter, 'Mo': Speaking of which, you're home awfully early, aren't you? Couldn't you find a matron with a taste for gutter squalor?
Yosemite Sam: Where am I? It sure is powerful warm in here. Is this Dallas?
Satan: No, but you're close.
Don: You're dead.
Eva: And you will be, too. Dead and wet and cold.
Krokov: Have you seen this report on this Condorman? On this man Wilkins? He is an amateur, do you hear? He is not an agent of the CIA! He is a writer of comic books.
Susan: What do you want, Harold?
Harold: What I've always wanted Susan, your heart.
Truck Driver: Ah, fuckin' graduation day. They make a big deal out of it, like it was somethin' special or somethin'.
Marti: But Seth is bringing back help.
Jeff Reed: Seth isn't coming back.
Yolanda: Oh, look. Isn't that that boy Bavarian from Budapest?
Waldemar: No, that's a fruit bat from the Philippines.
Bag Lady: Don't know why they want to persecute me because I don't talk to women. All women do is laugh, and sing, and say the word 'Pussy'. Y'ask any doctor, and he'll tell you that.
Paul Ruth: I want you to access the Ripe program. I do not have ConSec computer clearance.
Cameron Vale: Neither do I.
Paul Ruth: But you do have a nervous system. And so does a computer. And you can scan a computer, as you would another human being.
Bob Hauk: There was an accident. About an hour ago, a small jet went down inside New York City. The President was on board.
Snake Plissken: The president of what?
James Bond: Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
Q: That's putting it mildly, 007.
The Gyro Captain: No! It's my snake, I trained it, I'm going to eat it! I got a recipe for snake. Delicious. Fricassee of reptile. You are what you eat.