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Movie Quote Quiz

Comparative Religion - S1-E12

Jeff Winger: To me, religion is like Paul Rudd. I see the appeal, and I would never take it away from anyone. But I would also never stand in line for it.

Introduction to Film - S1-E3

Jeff Winger: Hey! Troy sneezes like a girl!
Troy: How about I pound you like a boy...that didn't come out right.

Modern Warfare - S1-E23

Shirley Bennett: They remind me of Sam and Diane. I hated Sam and Diane.
Annie Edison: Who are Sam and Diane?
Shirley Bennett: All right, we get it. You're young.

Modern Warfare - S1-E23

Annie Edison: Let's get back to Britta and Jeff.
Jeff Winger: There is no Britta and Jeff!
Pierce Hawthorne: He said, fully erect.

Modern Warfare - S1-E23

Britta Perry: Oh my God, you've been hit!
Jeff Winger: What? Oh no! Wait, wait... It's blood. I thought it was paint but I'm just bleeding. Talk about luck!

Politics of Human Sexuality - S1-E11

Shirley Bennett: Being a virgin in this day and age is something to be proud of. You're like a unicorn.

Beginner Pottery - S1-E19

Admiral Slaughter: When I look at you, I no longer see students. I see seamen. From the moment you came onboard, I saw seamen inside of you. More importantly you've stopped laughing at the word "seamen" which is the mark of a true seaman.

Beginner Pottery - S1-E19

Jeff Winger: It's the ultimate blow-off class. This class is like a redhead who likes to drink and watch Die Hard. I suggest you get her number.

Debate 109 - S1-E9

Professor Whitman: Jeffrey, as debate coach, I am offering you the opportunity to spend the night drinking from the cup of life, rather than romancing your nether regions in front of the E! channel.

Football, Feminism and You - S1-E6

Troy Barnes: You're saying I could be a lawyer.
Jeff Winger: I'm saying you're a football player! It's in your blood!
Troy Barnes: That's racist.
Jeff Winger: Your soul!
Troy Barnes: That's racist.
Jeff Winger: Your eyes?
Troy Barnes: That's gay?
Jeff Winger: That's homophobic.
Troy Barnes: That's black.
Jeff Winger: THAT'S racist!
Troy Barnes: Damn.

Football, Feminism and You - S1-E6

Abed Nadir: Will they or won't they? Sexual tension.
Jeff Winger: Abed, it makes the group uncomfortable when you talk about us like we're characters in a show you're watching.
Abed Nadir: Well, that's sort of my gimmick. But we did lean on it pretty hard last week. I can lay low for an episode.

Introduction to Film - S1-E3

Shirley: Isn't Abed's dad like a hardcore Muslim? They're not as forgiving as Christians. He'll cut your head off with a salami sword.
Annie Edison: Shirley! That is the most racist thing I've ever heard.
Jeff Winger: Pierce will top that in one minute.

Introduction to Film - S1-E3

Abed: My dad will only pay for classes that will help me run the family business. 9/11 was pretty much 9/11 for the falafel business.

Introduction to Film - S1-E3

Britta: Why are you dressed like an 80's rapist?

Introduction to Statistics - S1-E7

Troy: Jeff, Pierce took something and he is tripping balls! He is touching people and dancing weird. It's like Grumpy Old Men but not hilarious.

Pilot - S1-E1

Pierce Hawthorne: Why would I sexually harass someone who turns me on?

Pilot - S1-E1

Duncan: I'm a Professor. You can't talk to me that way!
Jeff Winger: A 6 year old girl could talk to you that way!
Duncan: Yes, because that would be adorable.
Jeff Winger: No, because you're a 5 year old girl and there's a pecking order!

Pilot - S1-E1

Jeff Winger: I discovered at a very early age that if I talk long enough, I can make anything right or wrong. So either I'm God or truth is relative. In either case, booyah!
Duncan: Interesting, it's just that the average person has a much harder time saying 'booyah' to moral relativism.

Pilot - S1-E1

Abed: I thought you were like Bill Murray in any of his films, but you're more like Michael Douglas in any of his films.
Jeff Winger: Yeah, well you have Aspergers.

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