Weeds
Movie Quote Quiz

Doug Wilson: How do you ask the woman that makes your kids' lunches to suck your balls and spread her ass open like a geometry compass? How, Andy?

Nancy Botwin: Obviously menopause has effected your sense of smell.
Lupita: I don't smell with my coochie.

Celia Hodes: Is it true what they say? That once a white woman's been with a carpenter she never goes back?
Conrad Shepard: Baby, once I nail something, it stays nailed.

The Candyman: Heylia's a lazy fat-fat and I'm hoping to put her in a diabetic coma, so I have no problem selling to her.

Tennis Pro: I'm sorry.
Celia Hodes: You're a big whore.

Quinn: Can we have sex in your house?

Doug Wilson: It's a weed wonderland, Nancy. It's like Amsterdam only you don't have to visit the Anne Frank house and pretend to be all sad and shit.

Nancy Botwin: I don't give a flying fuck if you do have cancer, put your tits away in front of my kid.

Nancy Botwin: I can't believe I trust you with my drug money. You're an idiot.
Doug Wilson: I'm an idiot savant.

Shane Botwin: I think pink's really your color, you fuckwad.

Quinn: Ok, we are breaking up.
Silas Botwin: Come on, think of all the time this will save us on foreplay, just whisper, "Shoot me in the optimum kill zone," I'll be good to go.
Quinn: I could whisper, "Linoleum" and you'd be good to go.

Nancy Botwin: Hey, that bag looks a little small.
Conrad Shepard: You never question Heylia's eyeballing. That's the rainman of weed right there.

Nancy Botwin: I'm the suburban baroness of bud, Nancy.

Nancy Botwin: Foul! Ref, what's the matter with your whistle?
Celia Hodes: Well, technically, Nancy, Ref can't call a foul. Shane was kicked by his own teammates.

Andy Botwin: Look kids, Chris is risen.

Nancy Botwin: I'm not a dealer, I'm a mother who happens to distribute illegal products through a sham bakery set up by my ethically questionable CPA and his crooked lawyer friend.

Andy Botwin: I paid for a full ounce, they fucking cheated me.
Nancy Botwin: They fucking saved your ass from going to jail.
Ms. Greenstein - Attorney: Still that's very uncool. There used to be an unbroken spiritual bond between dealer and buyer. I feel your pain Andrew, and I return it with a renewed sense of outrage.

Andy Botwin: How can you be so blindly pro-Bush?
Doug Wilson: I like his wife Laura... I used to buy weed from her at SMU.

Nancy Botwin: You listen, you stay away from my customer base, you don't deal to kids.
Josh Wilson: They're too young to bleed, they're too young for weed, no grass on the field no grass will they yield.
Nancy Botwin: You're a poet.
Josh Wilson: You know it.

Doug Wilson: Did you try the Sag Aloo? It's to die for and then be reincarnated and then die for again.

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