Blackadder
Movie Quote Quiz

Bells - S2-E1

Hag: Two things, my lord, must thee know of the Wise Woman. First, she is...a woman, and second, she is...
Edmund: Wise?
Hag: Oh! You know her then?
Edmund: No, just a wild stab in the dark, which, is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful. Do you know where she lives?

Plan E: General Hospital - S4-E5

General Melchett: Well, of course they are, Blackadder - directed according to the Grand Plan.
Blackadder: Would that be the plan to continue with total slaughter until every-one's dead except Field Marshal Haig, Lady Haig and their tortoise, Alan?
General Melchett: Great Scott! Even you know it! Guard! Guard! Bolt all the doors; hammer large pieces of crooked wood against all the windows! This security leak is far worse than we'd imagined!

Plan C: Major Star - S4-E3

Blackadder: A war hasn't been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, High Chief of all the Vikings, accidently ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.

Bells - S2-E1

Blackadder: It is strangely keeping in the manner of our courtship that your maid of honour should be a man.
Baldrick: Thank you very much, my lord.
Blackadder: I use the word 'man' in the broadest possible sense. For as we all know, God created man in his own image, and it would be a sad look out for Christians throughout the globe if God looked anything like you, Baldrick.

Plan D: Private Plane - S4-E4

Lord Flashheart: Always treat your kite like you treat your woman!
George: How do you mean, sir? Do you mean take her home at the weekend to meet your mother?
Lord Flashheart: No! Get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back!

Head - S2-E2

Blackadder: Right Baldrick, let's try again. This is called adding. If I have two beans and then I add two more beans, what do I have?
Baldrick: Some beans.
Blackadder: Yes...and no. Let's try again, shall we? I have two beans, then I add to more beans what does that make?
Baldrick: A very small casserole.
Blackadder: Baldrick, the ape creature of the Indus have mastered this. Now, try again. One, two, three, four! So how many are there?
Baldrick: Three
Blackadder: What.
Baldrick: [Pointing to one.] And that one.
Blackadder: [Picking it up.] Three and that one. So if I add that one to the three what will I have?
Baldrick: Ah! Some beans.
Blackadder: Yes. To you Baldrick, the rennaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it?

The Black Seal - S1-E6

The Hawk: I return at last, after fifteen years.
Edmund: And what have you been up to?
The Hawk: Waiting, plotting, nurturing my hatred and planning my revenge.
Edmund: So, you've kept yourself busy?

Plan F: Goodbyeee - S4-E6

Blackadder: You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent war in Europe, two superblocs developed: us, the French and the Russians on one side, and the Germans and Austro-Hungary on the other. The idea was to have two vast opposing armies, each acting as the other's deterrent. That way there could never be a war.
Baldrick: But - this is a sort of a war, isn't it sir?
Blackadder: Yes that's right, you see there was a tiny flaw in the plan.
George: What was that sir?
Blackadder: It was bollocks.

More mistakes in Blackadder

The Witchsmeller Pursuivant - S1-E5

Trivia: There are in fact two versions of the bonfire scene. Although most countries use the intended censored version (where somebody coughs right as Edmund says the F word) there are a few US editions where you can hear him swearing uninterrupted.

More trivia for Blackadder

Answer: His first name is "Sod Off". Blackadder asks him in series 3 where this came from, and he replies "Well, when I was a kid, living in the gutter, I'd go up to the other kids and say 'Hello, I'm Baldrick'. And they'd say, 'Yes, we know. Sod off, Baldrick.'"

Shay

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