Blackadder

Blackadder (1986)

6 quotes from season 1

The Foretelling - S1-E1

Percy: It will be a great day tomorrow for we nobles.
Edmund: Well, not if we lose, Percy. If we lose, I'll be chopped to pieces. My arms will end up at Essex, my torso in Norfolk, and my genitalia stuck up in a tree somewhere in Rutland.

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The Foretelling - S1-E1

King Richard IV: Tonight, honoured friends, we are gathered to celebrate a great victory, and to mourn a great loss. A toast to our triumph! And I raise a royal curse upon the man who slew Richard, our noble king!
Ghost of King Richard: [stands, points to Edmund.] It was him!
Edmund: Oh my god!
King Richard IV: Quiet at the end there! Whoever it was...
Ghost of King Richard: It was him. Edna!
King Richard IV: Wherever he be...
Ghost of King Richard: He's down there at the end!
King Richard IV: He shall be struck down!
Ghost of King Richard: Well then, get on with it, you stupid oaf. He's there!

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The Black Seal - S1-E6

Blackadder: Percy, you are dismissed from my services.
Percy: Me? Why?
Blackadder: Because Percy, far from being a fit consort for a prince of the realm, you would bore the leggings off a village idiot. You ride a horse rather less well than another horse would. Your brain would make a grain of sand look large and ungainly. And the part of you that can't be mentioned, I am reliably informed by women around the court, wouldn't be worth mentioning even if it could be. If you put on a floppy hat and a furry cod-piece, you might just get by as a fool, but since you wouldn't know a joke if it got up and gave you a haircut, I doubt it. THAT is why you are dismissed.

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The Witchsmeller Pursuivant - S1-E5

Witchsmeller: The suspect has his head placed upon a block, and an axe aimed at his neck. If the man is guilty, the axe will bounce off his neck — so we burn him. If the man is not guilty, the axe will simply slice his head off.

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The Black Seal - S1-E6

Edmund: He murdered his whole family!
Pete: Who didn't? I certainly killed mine.
Wilfred: And I killed mine.
Friar: And I killed yours.
Sean: Did you?
Friar: Yes.
Sean: Good on you, Father.

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The Black Seal - S1-E6

The Hawk: I return at last, after fifteen years.
Edmund: And what have you been up to?
The Hawk: Waiting, plotting, nurturing my hatred and planning my revenge.
Edmund: So, you've kept yourself busy?

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Mistakes

Back and Forth: When Blackadder first goes into the time machine to get the items from Baldrick, and the door goes up, you can see a crew member pushing the door closed, wearing a red shirt.

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Trivia

There are in fact two versions of the bonfire scene. Although most countries use the intended censored version (where somebody coughs right as Edmund says the F word) there are a few US editions where you can hear him swearing uninterrupted.

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