Blackadder

Blackadder (1986)

10 quotes from Plan E: General Hospital

Plan E: General Hospital - S4-E5

Blackadder: Darling, what are you doing here?
Darling: Bullet in the foot.
Blackadder: I can understand people at the front lines shooting themselves but you're 30 miles behind the trenches.
Darling: I didn't do it, the general did it.
Blackadder: Got tired of you already, has he?
Darling: He wasn't aiming at my foot.
Blackadder: Oh, so he was going for your head.
Darling: He wasn't aiming at anything.
Blackadder: So he was aiming for between your legs.

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Plan E: General Hospital - S4-E5

Blackadder: Sir, is there something the matter?
General Melchett: You're damned right there's something the matter! Something sinister and something grotesque. And what's worse is that it's going on right under my very nose!
Blackadder: Sir, your moustache is lovely.

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Plan E: General Hospital - S4-E5

General Melchett: Captain Blackadder?
Blackadder: Yes sir?
General Melchett: You are now head of Operation Winkle.
Blackadder: Thank you, sir.
General Melchett: Darling?
Captain Darling: Yes sir?
General Melchett: You are a complete arse.

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Plan E: General Hospital - S4-E5

Blackadder: I only smoke cigarettes after making love, so back home in England I'm a twenty-a-day man.

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Plan E: General Hospital - S4-E5

Baldrick: I don't like them doctors. If they start poking around inside me...
Blackadder: Baldrick, why would anyone wish to poke around inside you?
Baldrick: They might find me interesting.
Blackadder: I find the Great Northern and Metropolitan sewage system interesting, but that doesn't mean I want to put on some rubber gloves and pull things out of it with a pair of tweezers.

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Plan E: General Hospital - S4-E5

Baldrick: Oh no, I hate hostipals! My grandad went into one, and when he came out he was dead!
Blackadder: He was also dead when he went in, Baldrick. He'd been run over by a traction engine.

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Plan E: General Hospital - S4-E5

Darling: A German spy is giving away every one of our battle plans.
Melchett: You look surprised, Blackadder.
Blackadder: I certainly am sir. I didn't realize we had any battle plans.
Melchett: Of course we've got plans! How else do you think our battles are directed?
Blackadder: Our battles are directed, sir?
Melchett: Of course they are. Directed accoring to the grand plan.
Blackadder: Oh I see. And would that be the plan to continue with total slaughter until everybody's dead except Field Marshal Haig, Lady Haig, and their tortoise, Alan?

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Plan E: General Hospital - S4-E5

Nurse Mary: Ah, Captain Blackadder. I hope you're going to conduct yourself with a little more decorum this time.
Blackadder: No, I'm going to conduct myself with no decorum. Shove off.

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Plan E: General Hospital - S4-E5

General Melchett: Well, of course they are, Blackadder - directed according to the Grand Plan.
Blackadder: Would that be the plan to continue with total slaughter until every-one's dead except Field Marshal Haig, Lady Haig and their tortoise, Alan?
General Melchett: Great Scott! Even you know it! Guard! Guard! Bolt all the doors; hammer large pieces of crooked wood against all the windows! This security leak is far worse than we'd imagined!

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Plan E: General Hospital - S4-E5

[Blackadder is interrogating Darling trying to find a German spy.]
Captain Darling: I'm as British as Queen Victoria!
Blackadder: So your father's German, you're half German and you married a German?

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Back and Forth: When Blackadder first goes into the time machine to get the items from Baldrick, and the door goes up, you can see a crew member pushing the door closed, wearing a red shirt.

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Trivia

There are in fact two versions of the bonfire scene. Although most countries use the intended censored version (where somebody coughs right as Edmund says the F word) there are a few US editions where you can hear him swearing uninterrupted.

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