Quotes from Gene Wilder movies and TV shows

All people starting with G

Below are some quotes involving Gene Wilder - click the title to view the complete list. If you think their finest moments are missing from the full list, please submit them.

Jim: Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around... And there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.

Add time

[To two members of the KKK, while pretending to capture Bart.]
Jim: Oh, boys! Lookee what I got heyuh.
Bart: Hey, where the white women at?

Add time

Bart: You are my guest, and I am your host. What is your pleasure? What do you like to do?
Jim: I don't know... Play chess... Screw...
Bart: [quickly.] Let's play chess.

Add time

Bart: A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to DIE.
Jim: [eagerly.] When?

Add time

Bart: Are we awake?
Jim: We're not sure. Are we... Black?
Bart: Yes, we are.
Jim: Then we're awake... But we're very puzzled.

Add time

Jim: You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... Morons.

Add time

Willy Wonka: Charlie, don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.
Charlie Bucket: What happened?
Willy Wonka: He lived happily ever after.

Add time

Willy Wonka: No, no, don't speak. For some moments in life there are no words.

Add time

Mr. Salt: What is this, Wonka? Some kind of fun house?
Willy Wonka: Why? Having fun?

Add time

Willy Wonka: Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.
Mrs. Teevee: That's 105 percent.

Add time

Willy Wonka: A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

Add time

Willy Wonka: So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.

Add time

Willy Wonka: How did you like the chocolate factory, Charlie?
Charlie Bucket: I think it's the most wonderful place in the whole world!
Willy Wonka: I'm very pleased to hear you say that, because I'm giving it to you.

Add time

[Augustus has fallen into the chocolate river.]
Mrs. Gloop: Do something!
Willy Wonka: Help. Police. Murder.

Add time

Willy Wonka: I don't understand it. The children are disappearing like rabbits. Well, we still have each other. Shall we press on?

Add time

Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka, they won't really be burned in the furnace, will they?
Willy Wonka: Well, I think that furnace is only lit every other day, so they have a good sporting chance, haven't they?

Add time

Willy Wonka: The strawberries taste like strawberries, and the snozzberries taste like snozzberries.
Veruca Salt: Snozzberries? Who ever heard of a snozzberry?

Add time

Willy Wonka: The suspense is terrible... I hope it'll last.

Add time

Augustus Gloop: Let me in, I'm starving!
Willy Wonka: Now, don't get excited. Don't lose your head, Augustus. We don't want anybody to lose that.

Add time

Mrs. Teevee: I assume there's an accident indemnity clause.
Willy Wonka: Never between friends.

Add time

Join the mailing list

Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.