Woods County Sheriff: Only one thing bothers me, though. That was a single. You're sure that was a single, now?
Victor Shakapopulis: That was a single, yeah.
Woods County Sheriff: Yeah, well, they usually travel in pairs.
The Girl: For me, Norman Mailer has exactly that same sort of relevance - that affirmitive, negative duality that only Proust or Flaubert could achieve.
The Operator: I don't know if we're gonna make it or not, doesn't look too good.
The Girl: I'm a graduate of New York University.
The Operator: We're gonna make it.
The Fool: Before you know it, the Renaissance will be here and we'll all be painting.
The Operator: Can we please have an erection? What the hell is going on down there?
The Queen: Kiss me quick.
The Fool: Yes... where is your quick?
Victor Shakapopulis: I don't know if you've read my book, "Advanced Sexual Positions: How to Achieve Them Without Laughing."
Dr. Bernardo: Here I'm studying premature ejaculation in a hippopotamus.
Victor Shakapopulis: How often does that problem come up with a hippo?
Dr. Bernardo: Here I'm forcing a man to have intercourse with a large rye bread. They're getting on famously! Here I'm going to take the brain of a lesbian and put it into the body of a man who works for the telephone company.
Victor Shakapopulis: But why? What good will this do anybody?
Dr. Bernardo: It'll show those fools who called me mad.
The Queen: Didst I feel aright or didst I feel that thy two hands did upon my royal body cop a feel?