Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex

The Queen: Kiss me quick.
The Fool: Yes... where is your quick?

Victor Shakapopulis: I don't know if you've read my book, "Advanced Sexual Positions: How to Achieve Them Without Laughing."

Dr. Bernardo: Here I'm studying premature ejaculation in a hippopotamus.
Victor Shakapopulis: How often does that problem come up with a hippo?
Dr. Bernardo: Here I'm forcing a man to have intercourse with a large rye bread. They're getting on famously! Here I'm going to take the brain of a lesbian and put it into the body of a man who works for the telephone company.
Victor Shakapopulis: But why? What good will this do anybody?
Dr. Bernardo: It'll show those fools who called me mad.

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