Harry Dunne: Whoa, Lloyd. Check out the hotties at 12 o'clock.
Lloyd Christmas: That's three hours away. Why can't I check 'em out now?
Harry Dunne: This is my associate, Dr. Christmas.
Dr. Lewis Meldman: Christmas, as in the holiday?
Lloyd Christmas: No, as in the tree.
David Alden: With this baby you could fly over the Empire State Building.
Thomas Alden: Or end up as a big pound of ground round. One of the two.
Edward R. Murrow: We'll split the advertising, Fred and I. He just won't have any presents for his kids at Christmas.
Sig Mickelson: He's a Jew.
Edward R. Murrow: Well don't tell him that. He loves Christmas.
Teddy Sanders: If we are going to have a secret project called "Elrond", then I want my code name to be "Glorfindel."
Uncle Martin: Wake up, Tim. There's a big day ahead of us.
Tim O'Hara: It's still night time. You've been asleep for 30 seconds.
Uncle Martin: 30 seconds? I was tired.
Will McAvoy: You set me up with a crazy woman who can shoot me. Fatal attraction with a concealed carry permit.
Will McAvoy: [Old footage of the 9/11 report.] I've been searching for Biblical quotes. None of them... We don't know how many are dead. It's gonna be a lot. It's gonna be thousands. We don't know who attacked us, we don't know what's coming tomorrow, and I don't know what I'm doing. But I make you this promise: I'm gonna be with you all night. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here.
Will McAvoy: We used to wage war on poverty, not poor people.
Election Night: Part I - S2-E8
Will McAvoy: But on the bright side...
Charlie Skinner: There is no bright side, Father Flanagan, don't finish that sentence!
Will McAvoy: Wasn't gonna be able to anyway.
First Thing We Do, Let's Kill All the Lawyers - S2-E1
Rebecca Halliday: Fourteen months ago, you went on the air and called the Tea Party "the American Taliban."
Will McAvoy: I did.
Rebecca Halliday: And?
Will McAvoy: The Taliban resented it.
Tom Baxter: Dad was a card. I never met him. He died before the movie began.
Tom Baxter: You make love without fading out?
Tom Baxter: Cecilia, it's clear how miserable you are with your husband. And if he hits you again, you tell me. I'd be forced to knock his teeth out.
Cecilia: I don't think that'd be such a good idea. He's big.
Tom Baxter: I'm sorry. It's written into my character to do it, so I do it.
Tom Baxter: It's so impulsive, but... I'll come. Why not? What's life without a little risk taking? Who knows?
Emma: You're gonna get a champion roll in the hay.
Tom Baxter: What, there's hay in the bedroom?
Gil Shepherd: You can't learn to be real. It's like learning to be a midget.
Gil Shepherd: I worked so hard to make him real.
Gil's Agent: Maybe you overdid it.
Gil's Agent: Tom Baxter's come down off the screen and he's running around New Jersey... Nobody knows how it happened, but he's done it.
Gil Shepherd: How can he do that? It's not physically possible.
Gil's Agent: In New Jersey anything can happen.
Howard Payne: See, I'm in charge here! I drop this stick, and they pick your friend here up with a sponge! Are you ready to die, friend?
Harry: Fuck you!
Howard Payne: Oh! In two hundred years we've gone from "I regret but I have one life to give for my country" to "Fuck you!"?
