Sam Witwicky: Fifty years from now, when you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?
Optimus Prime: With the All Spark gone, we cannot return life to our planet. And fate has yielded its reward: a new world to call home. We live among its people now, hiding in plain sight, but watching over them in secret, waiting, protecting. I have witnessed their capacity for courage, and though we are worlds apart, like us, there's more to them than meets the eye. I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message to any surviving Autobots taking refuge among the stars. We are here. We are waiting.
Trent: Didn't you try out for the football team last year?
Sam Witwicky: No, that wasn't like a real tryout. I was researching a book I was writing.
Trent: What's it about? Sucking in sports?
Sam Witwicky: No, it's about the link between brain damage and football. It's a good book. Your friends would love it. It's got mazes in it, coloring areas, pop-up pictures. It's a lot of fun.
Sam Witwicky: So, listen. I was wondering if I could ride you home. I mean, uh... Give you a ride home.
Judy Witwicky: [To Sam.] Oh, for Pete's sake! You are so defensive! Were you masturbating?
Sam Witwicky: No!
Judy Witwicky: Well, we don't have to call it that word, if it makes you uncomfortable. We could call it.Sam's Happy Time.
Sam Witwicky: I bought a car, and it turned out to be an alien robot. Who knew?
Maggie: What's going on?
Defense Secretary Keller: You're coming with me. You're going to be my advisor.
Glen: Me too?
Defense Secretary Keller: Who's this?
Maggie: He's my advisor.
Defense Secretary Keller: He comes too.
Ron Witwicky: I got a little surprise for you son.
[Drives by a Porsche dealership.]
Sam Witwicky: No, no no, no no! You got to be kidding me!
Ron Witwicky: Yeah, I am. You're not getting a Porsche.
Starscream: I live to serve you, Lord Megatron.
Megatron: Where is the cube?
Starscream: The humans have taken it.
Megatron: You've failed me yet again, Starscream.
Sam Witwicky: It's a robot. But, like a different...you know, like a super advanced robot. It's probably Japanese. Yeah, it's definitely Japanese.