Zeus: He said, "how many were going to St. Ives, " right? The riddle begins, "As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives!" The guy and his wives aren't going anywhere.
John McClane: What are they doing?
Zeus: Sitting in the fucking road! Waiting on the moor! How the hell should I know?
Zeus: Didn't I hear you say you didn't even like your brother?
Simon: There's a difference, you know, between not liking one's brother and not caring when some dumb Irish flatfoot drops him out of a window.
Zeus: Why do you keep calling me Jesus? Do I look Puerto Rican to you?
John: That guy back there called you Jesus.
Zeus: He didn't say Jesus. He said hey, Zeus. My name's Zeus.
Zeus: Yeah, Zeus! As in Father of Apollo? Mount Olympus? Don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass?
[John shoots one of the mercs in the ship's cargo hold.]
John McClane: What was that?
[He turns around and gets kicked by Targo.]
Targo: He said don't shoot.
John McClane: Yeah, I'll cut you a deal. Crawl out from that rock you're hiding under and I'll drive this truck up your ass.
Simon: How colorful.
Simon: Why was the phone busy? Who were you calling?
John McClane: The Psychic Hotline!
John McClane: You know this guy Simon we're talking to?
John McClane: I threw his little brother off the thirty-second floor of Nakatomi Towers out in L.A. I guess he's a little pissed off about it.
Zeus: Wait a minute. You mean to tell me I'm in this shit 'cause some white cop threw some white asshole's brother off a roof?
Simon: I'm a soldier, not a monster. Even though I sometimes work for monsters.
Joe Lambert: Bonwit Teller. Who the hell would wanna blow up a department store?
Connie Kowalski: Did ya ever seen a woman miss a shoe sale?
John McClane: Hey, guys. Vicky O'Brien. Aqueduct security. We had a report of a guy coming through here with eight reindeer. Yeah, they say he was a jolly old fat guy with a snowy white beard, cute little red and white suit. I'm surprised you didn't see him.
Simon: Holy toledo, somebody had fun.