David: He never watched television, and yet his biggest magazine is still the TV Digest.
David: I wanna wake up! Tech support! It's a nightmare! Tech support! Tech support.
David: I wanna wake UP.
David: I want to live a real life... I don't want to dream any longer.
Edmund: There are no guarantees, but remember: Even in the future, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour.
Dr. Curtis McCabe: And you didn't immediately wanna sleep with her?
David: Well, you know, I'm a pleasure delayer.
Edmund: Consequences, David. It's the little things.
David: The little things... there's nothing bigger, is there?
Julie: Why did you tell Brian I was your "Fuckbuddy"?
David: I never said that.
David: These? These are more than headaches. These are steel plates slicing through my every thought.
Julie: I can tell by the way you're walking that you didn't sleep with her.
David: My father wrote about this in his book. Chapter 1... Page 1... Paragraph 1: What is the answer to 99 out of 100 questions?.. Money.
Sofía: I have to get some sleep. Truthfully, I also work as a dental assistant.
David: Boy, am I going to the wrong dentist.
Sofía: I'll tell you in another life, when we are both cats.
Sofía: What about you? What's your nickname?
David: Citizen Dildo.
Sofía: Hmm. You are not staying over.
David: How do you think watertight contracts are broken?
Julie: Don't you know that when you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not.
David: Doc, once you've been driven off a bridge at 80 miles an hour, somehow you don't invite happiness in without a full body search.
David: You're a shrink! You gotta be better than that.
Dr. Curtis McCabe: Let's not stereotype each other. Not all rich kids are soulless, and not all psychologists care about dreams.