Kate: It's easy to say "I love you" while you're rolling around on expensive sheets. It's so much harder when they need washing.
Amanda: I knew that you were real. I came to save you.
Tony: Hey Dr. Jones, do you have any birds I can play with?
Dr. Jones: Well, the birds that I have are... way too large and dangerous for you to play with.
Tony: So how about a smaller one?
Dr. Jones: Well I tell you what, I'll send you some lovebirds.
Tony: Sweet, I can't wait to play with them.
Sam: We have a problem. The rooms aren't gonna be ready for another year and a half. They're still remodeling. Archibald, did this topic come up when you made the reservation?
Archie: No, because you insisted on making the reservations.
Sam: I insisted, but then you insisted. And it is the second insister.
Archie: Sam.
Sam: That supersedes the.
Archie: Sam. I offered, you insisted.
Gerri Dandridge: Hey kids, did Charley tell you everything he saw in my apartment last night?
Arnold Schwarzenegger Look-a-like: Hasta la vista.
Bruce Willis Look-a-like: Yippee kai yay.
Jason Statham Look-a-like: Darn it, I don't have a catch phrase.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Look-a-like: Ha ha ha ha, I have so many of them. I'll be back.
Jason Statham Look-a-like: You know what I mean Chuck?
Chuck Norris Look-a-like: No, because I'm Chuck Norris, and catch phrases need me.
Harper: Brian McDaniels... I like to ski in Vermont. I like to date chocolate girls.
Jordan: Shut up, Harper.
Kim: Mrs. Murphy, if I... if I may, our children, no matter what we think, they... they will live their own lives. The world is changing.
Eileen: Not that much.
Kim: It is changing and that is a good thing. Every generation sees a little less division and a little more open minds and open hearts. I think we should be happy and proud that our kids... our children see people as people.
Proctor at Spelling Bee: So, are you a judge?
Guy Trilby: No. I'm the winner.
Lestor: See, there is a part of me that wants to put you in the trunk of my sister's Prius, drive you up to Canvey Island and bury you up to your thick fucking neck, cover your fat fucking face in hamburger patties and let the creatures of the night eat you to death while I watch.
Mr. Papadopoulos: Simon, give Rudolph his arm back.
Graciana: The sacrifices we made to send you to the worst schools, and now you tell me you like this man because he is a good person. Let's go, please.
Eva: But he looks at me with those eyes.
Miren: What eyes? Pull them out.
Dan: You can tell a lot about a person by what's on their playlist.
Greta: I know you can. That's what's worrying me.
Terri Coulter: What would you do if you couldn't have children?
Felty Yoder: I would pray to God to send them to me.
Terri Coulter: What if you don't believe in God?
Felty Yoder: Maybe that's why you can't have children.
Carol: I just want to give you my card. I'm not a vocal coach anymore, but I would make an exception for you because you sound like a squeaky toy. And I don't mean that in a bad way.
Dusty Crophopper: I've flown thousands and thousands of miles, and have never gone anywhere.