Dave Harken: You can't win a marathon without putting some bandaids on your nipples!
Sherlock Holmes: Uh, hmm... Right. Where are the wagons?
Madam Simza Heron: The wagon is too slow. Can't you ride?
Dr. John Watson: It's not that he can't ride... How is it you put it, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: They're dangerous at both ends and... Crafty in the middle. Why would I want anything with a mind of its own bobbing about between my legs?
Kay: Honor is not a thing to be dismissed or forgotten.
Special Agent James Ross: She got the drop on me in my home, and she told me that if I don't bring her the whereabouts of this man, she's going to kill a member of my family every week until I have none left.
Richard: Are you kidding me?
Special Agent James Ross: Does it seem to you that I would make something like this up? So why don't you just tell me what I should do?
Richard: Call 9-1-1.
Title Card: "The battle against the Devil, which is the principal task of Saint Michael the Archangel, is still being fought today, because the Devil is still alive and active in the world." - Pope John Paul II.
Title Card: What follows is inspired by true events.
Emma: A tortilla is either corn or wheat. But a corn tortilla folded and filled is a taco, whereas a filled wheat tortilla is a burrito. Deep fry a burrito, it's a chimichanga. Toast a tortilla, it's a tostada. Roll it, it's an enchilada.
Julian Goldstein: What are you afraid of?
Marley Corbett: I'm scared this entire night's gonna go by and you'll never wanna kiss me.
Stan Harris: Nothing beats New York on New Years Eve.
Lord Redbrick: I'm not illiterate! My parents were married!
Earl of Oxford: All art is political, Jonson. Otherwise it would just be decoration.
Rebecca Evans: You're all mine.
Moreau: The day of prophecy is tomorrow. We were to hold the boy until the danger passes.
Methodius: The danger will not pass, Moreau. As long as the boy exists, the power will always be inside him.
Moreau: You lied to me. You lied to me.
Methodius: This child must be destroyed.
Nadya: No! No.
Methodius: You might have protested while the child was being conceived. Now it is too late.
Peter: Man, you've really grown up.
Col. Woodrow Dolarhyde: I want that man! You give him to me now, or I'm gonna take him!
Jeff: You know what? I have a asshole for a brother and it breaks my heart.
Mary: You know, I don't, I don't know about this.
Judy: Oh, shut up, Mary. When was the last time someone fucked you so hard you couldn't walk?
Ryan: Ladies and gentlemen, this is actually fucking happening. Dougie "The Thug" Glatt is about to fucking drop the gloves and take on Ross "The Boss" Rhea. This has all the elements of a fucking sports masterpiece. Holy fuck! We've got the worried lady friend's face frozen with concern. We got the gay brother. Yup! And the loveable, wisecracking best friend. Orangetown, son! Pussy crew, album dropping. Oh fuck, here we go.
Norman Grunmeyer: If I had Big G's body, I'd have kicked Freel's ass! Then I'd have kicked Ricky Brown's ass just to cool down.