John Farley: You have a father?
Mr. Woodcock: Of course I have a father, Farley, I'm not Jesus.
Silas: I gonna drop you like K-Fed.
Phil: I've gotta drop the kids off at the pool.
Juliette: We have a pool?
Phil: Uh, no.
Bill: They hate that I'm working at their bank. I hate that I'm working at their bank.
Benjamin: We are journalists! We can't do this. It is unethical... and insane.
Simon: It would be a pleasure to personally catch him.
Benjamin: By ourselves. By ourselves. We don't even have any weapons.
Simon: If I gave you a gun, would you know how to use it?
Benjamin: No.
Simon: Then what the fuck are you complaining about?
Duck: I told you. The moment you start drinking that Bosnian brandy, the devil's sitting in the corner, just laughing.
Mr. Parks: "Most people go to their graves with their music inside them." - What was Mr. Holmes saying? Come on guys, it's not that hard. He's saying that most people die without discovering their own genius, without expressing the uniqueness that makes them special.
Daphne Wilder: God couldn't be everywhere so that is why he invented mothers.
Maggie: What? That was on a Hallmark card we gave you.
Pat: The Death Star would take out the Enterprise with one shot.
Jenny: The Enterprise has deflector shields.
Student: What is the difference between plot and narrative?