Best comedy TV quotes of 1998

Cole: Phoebe, I love you. I don't know what's going on but maybe I can help. Would you like me to kill someone for you?

Fat City - S1-E2

Doug Heffernan: Hey, Deac, let me ask you, do you think Carrie's gained weight?
Deacon Palmer: Say what?
Doug Heffernan: Carrie, my wife, do you think she's gained a little weight, a couple pounds, maybe?
Deacon Palmer: I don't know. Every time I see her she's blocked by you.

Ssiscool ★

Charlotte: How can you forget a guy you've slept with?
Carrie: Toto, I don't think we're in single digits anymore.

Mary Carroll: Look at Anthony's hair. He looks like a little choir boy.
Jim Royle: He looks like a little gay boy.

Linda: What do you have against the New York City Marathon?
Dr. John Becker: The Marathon just gets my hopes up. At first it seems like 20,000 idiots are leaving the city, but then they just make a big loop and come right back.

Going to California - S5-E1

Kitty Forman: Oh good God, you kids switch partners more than square dancers!

New Will City - S3-E1

Grace: My love for you is like this scar. Ugly, but permanent.

Bubbles: Goodness gracious! Sir, you are being slowly digested. We need to get you to a hospital.

Dog: You know you love Winslow.
Cat: Yeah. And nothing says lovin' like something from the oven.

Sharon Carter: Actually, we're engaged "in theory."
Pete: Oh, that's great, congratulations. I'd explain it to Collette if I spoke French, and understood what you were talking about.
Sharon Carter: Why is everyone having such a tough time with this? It's very simple - an engagement is a promise to be married. And I am promising to be engaged, which in theory is a promise to be married, hence we are engaged in theory.
Johnny Donnelly: Good luck finding a card for that.