Vida Boheme: I think tomorrow is a "Say Something" hat day.
Roach: You know this "Hell on Earth" business? Big fucking deal - I've got hemmorhoids.
Jim: And in the next life, father, I'M gonna have the paddle.
Henri Young: I got nothin'. I got nobody. I don't need a lawyer, I need a friend.
Calamity Jane: A man that cgeats at cards ain't got no religion.
Puppet Master: We have been subordinate to our limitations until now. The time has come to cast aside these bonds and to elevate our consciousness to a higher plane. It is time to become a part of all things.
Spider: If you're not expected then you're not invited - SO fuck OFF.
Kabral: The black guy always dies. Think about it, man. Unforgiven. Alien. Rocky IV. The Shining.
Roy: Star Trek II. Forrest Gump. Witness.
Bud: Annie Hall. Not Annie Hall.
Roy: No, Night of the Living Dead.
Bud: That's the one!
Kabral: And what about that brother in Jurassic Park, man?
Bud: There were two black guys who died in that one. That was a twofer. You must be really pissed off at that one.
Max Goldman: If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards.
Sera: So, Ben with an "N " what brings you to Las Vegas? Business convention?
Ben Sanderson: I came here to drink myself to death.
John Reilly: I didn't kill her, I fucked her, Okay?
Ron Timmerman: I wash my balls religiously. I like 'em so clean you can just feel every dimple.
Kevin Franklin: Thank you for sharing that.
Ron: The cleaner the ball, the better the play. Especially when you pull out that wood. The quicker you get it into the hole with the least amount of strokes, the better, right?
Kevin: Are you trying to tell me something?
Ron: Let me wash your balls.
Dr. Kosevich: I've got it! Nurse, call the Anesthesiologist, this woman needs an enema.
Samuel, Rebecca, Nurse: An enema?
Dr. Kosevich: No, uh, she needs a pedicure.
Nurse: This ain't no goddam beauty parlor.
Dr. Kosevich: Epitath.
Samuel Faulkner: She's not dead, you moron.
Dr. Kosevich: Epidermus... Uh.
Rebecca Taylor: Epidural, asshole.
Marcus Burnett: You see what happens when you go off without me? You get into shit.
Mike Lowrey: Oh please, like shit don't happen when you're there.
Marcus Burnett: That - that ain't the point.
Xavier Fitch: We decided to make it female so it would be more docile and controllable.
Preston Lennox: More docile and controllable, eh? You guys don't get out much.
Massarelli, Prosecuting Attorney: Are you a lesbian too, Ms. Nickerson?
Robin: No sir but at times I understand the inclination.
Morgan: Stop your chatter and say something Latin-ish.
Hester Prynne: I wonder if existance as a woman is worthwhile at all.