Sheriff Dollard: When the founding fathers wrote the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, what have you. "Liberty and justice for all", they didn't mean that.
Farmer: I can tell you one thing about them founding fathers of America.
Sheriff Dollard: What's that?
Farmer: They sure had fabulous wigs.
Vida Boheme: I think tomorrow is a "Say Something" hat day.
Carol Ann: This is the presidential suite.
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: Must've been one of those bad presidents.
Merna: Vaya con dios, Miss Chi-Chi.
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: You ruin my language and I still love you.
Loretta: These all grow wild around here.
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: You all grow wild around here. This reminds me of the story of Princess Laritza in 'Revenge of the Wench'. Seem everyone was giving her flowers because they thought she was dead, right? But she had taken this magical concoction.
Loretta: Well, anyway, bye-bye.
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: Bye.
Noxeema Jackson: When a straight man puts on a dress and gets his sexual kicks, he is a transvestite. When a man is a woman trapped in a man's body and has a little operation he is a Transsexual.
Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: I know that.
Noxeema Jackson: When a gay man has way too much fashion sense for one gender he is a drag queen.
Vida Boheme: Thank you.
Noxeema Jackson: And when a tired little Latin boy puts on a dress, he is simply a boy in a dress.