Tom Sawyer: Muff's innocent Huck, we gotta help him.
Huck Finn: We ain't gotta do nothing.
Tom Sawyer: You'd let him hang for something he didn't do.
Huck Finn: It ain't no skin off my back.
Max Kirkpatrick: Please, Rita. Just cut me a little slack on space, OK.
Rita: No, no, no! You have run out of slacks, Max! No more slacks for you.
Wanda: Is everybody hurt? Is anyone okay?
Maya: All women are princesses, it is our right.
Reginald Anson: Pleasant enough sort of place, isn't it?
George Garrad: I suppose so, considering it's Wales.
Lieutenant Max Hoover: See, that's federal property. This isn't. This is L.A. This is my town. Out here you're a trespasser. Out here I can pick you up, burn your house, fuck your wife, and kill your dog. And the only thing that'll protect you is if I can't find you. And I already found you.
Jack Foley: You really know who you are, don't you?
Bernadette 'Benny' Hogan: Well, yes, of course I do.
Rumbo: Hey. Hey! What's going on?
Young Fluke: I guess I was dreaming.
Rumbo: You were what?
Young Fluke: Uh, dreaming. I was seeing pictures inside my head.
Rumbo: Pictures ain't got no business being inside your head. Next time you just growl and chase 'em away.
Young Fluke: Rumbo, have you always been a dog?
Rumbo: What you talkin' about? What else could I have been?
Young Fluke: I don't know. A human.
Rumbo: A two-legger? Me?
Joe: So listen to this. I'm coming out of the bathroom, right, and these two Orientals, they're arguin', they're hollerin', they're screaming at one another. And all in Japanese. So I told 'em, I said "Ay! You're in America now, speak Spanish."
Queen Elizabeth: I have no more sons of the royal blood for you to slaughter.
Richard III: You have a daughter.
Little Bear: Good! I like danger. Do you like danger, Texas Man?
Gilbert Sipes: Go play your banjo, Goober.
Niko: The first thing God created was the journey, then came doubt, and nostalgia.
Lucille: I'm not shooting for a "successful" relationship at this point, I'm just looking for something that will prevent me from throwing myself in front of a bus. I'm keeping my expectations very very low.
Shiho: Tidy up quickly and take that lunch box to Dad.
Shizuku: What?
Shiho: What do you mean by that tone? You're going to the library, right? Or shall I go instead? Then you can clean the toilet, the bathroom, and the entryway too, and go to the co-op for me. And take in the futons, do the shopping, and prepare dinner.
Shizuku: Goodbye.
David: We elect the officers and everything. It's socialism in action - not like the army back home.
Harry S. Truman: I don't give 'em hell, I just tell the truth and they think it's hell.