Red Skull: Assassination isn't worth the trouble. It took me two years to find Sirhan. Three to find Oswald. The King job alone cost me over twenty million dollars. What do we get for our pains? Saints. Martyrs to the cause.
Loomis: Please God! We need a cab! One lousy fuckin' cab.
Warwick: We're going to hell...together!
Napoleon Stone: You are dancing around with a cheeseburger.
Rosalie Boca: We didn't do it. I swear to God we didn't. We found him outside, on the lawn.
Devo Nod: ...Right outside.
Rosalie Boca: ...He was lying there, someone had shot him, and thrown him on the lawn.
Nadja: Yeah, it was a mess.
Rosalie Boca: ...It was terrible. So we brought him inside and we... we put him in bed... and... yep... It must have been the Mafia.
Lt. Larry Schooner: Mafia?
Devo Nod: The Mafia.
Nadja: Yeah. Joey was Italian.
Rosalie Boca: He is Italian.
Devo Nod: He is Italian.
Nerd Student: Father Mayii?
Jebedaiah Mayii: Yes?
Nerd Student: Have you adhered strictly to your vow of celibacy?
Jebedaiah Mayii: Yes, I have.
Nerd Student: Me too.
Jebedaiah Mayii: I'm not surprised. Mine was by choice.
Molly: ...you have no respect for women.
Joey: I guess dinner and a blow job's out of the question.
Molly: I guess.
Joey: We'll forget dinner.
Bastian Bux: All right, Xayide. I will make my last wish. I wish... for you to have a heart.
Brian Hope: Look Charlie, some con men sell life insurance. The church sells afterlife insurance. It's brilliant! Everyone thinks you might need it, and no-one can prove you don't.
Charlie McManus: The church isn't selling anything, Brian.
Brian Hope: Oh! Well, if the church isn't selling anything how did it get to be so rich? Just remember, wherever there's a deep human need there's money to be made.
Charlie McManus: You think so?
Brian Hope: Of course, look at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Carmine Sabatini: I'm getting too old for this nonsense.
Pilot: Lieutenant, you guys are incredible. Thank you.
Curran: There's no reason to thank us because we don't exist. You never saw us. This never happened.
Hawkins: One more thing: you're welcome.
Ken: I don't wanna play this game anymore.
Bob the Turk: I warn you, do not make me do something that I would not do, unless someone made me do it because they didn't do something someone told them to do.
Gus Cardinale: Don't worry Bob, I would never do something to make someone do something to someone, because that someone didn't do something that someone wanted them to do.
Bob the Turk: I'm glad we understand each other.
Gus Cardinale: ...Me too.
Ben: Cooper, I've got a shotgun out here. Open this door, you motherfucker, or I swear to God I'll blow it to shit.
Spencer Barnes: I've worked hard to work this hard.
Justin: Don't you ever run away from me.
Dr. Herbert West: He's a wife-beater, Dan! Use the gun.
George Jetson: Jane! Get me off this crazy thing.